April's Savagies

Posted by Roadkill and various names in wrestling

RK: Welcome to our monthly awards show, the savagies! This month, we have various names in sports entertainment presenting the awards. Here presenting our first award would be Michael Cole, but we got his cousin, who is currently trapped in a ditch, Michael Cole-in-a-hole, to present the award.

Cole-in-a-hole: Welcome fans. I'm currently trapped in a hole right now, but I'll be out. I'll be out, and I'll kill my cousin for calling a steel cage a carnivore, and for his craptastical announcing. Oh, onto the award.

1st award: This first award is the Hardy's ladder match award, for the most underated mid-card match

Nominees: The Has Been Kid vs. Batista- special ref Chris Jericho (Backlash), MVP vs. Matt Hardy- U.S. Title (Backlash), CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy (Raw), Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix- Women's title (Raw)

And the savagie goes to: Batista vs. HBK with special ref Chris Jericho. HBK sent Batista to the animal hospital, then the pet cemetary. Matt Hardy vs. MVP could've easily won too. It WAS Hardy's first singles title.

RK: But what about the European, Cruiserweight, and Hardcore title? Hardy won those too.

C-I-A-H: Shhhhh. WWE is kinda trying to keep all that on the DL. Get my drift?

RK: Oh, you mean like they kept the Chris Benoit thing on the "DL"?

C-I-A-H: I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT! HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO VINCE!?!? I mean, who's Chris Benoit?

RK: Our next award is The My ears are Bleeding award, for the worst announcer. Here to present that award is cousin of TNA star Kurt Angle, Smurt Stangle. We couldn't get Kurt because of his BROKEN FREAKIN' NECK.

Smurt Strangle:

Nominees: Cole, Coach, Adamle

The Savagie goes to: It's a tie between Adamle, Coach, and Cole. Oh God! This is the first time there's been a tie, I think. Well, they both suck, but Coach is with MSG now, so now the Knicks fans will do the complianing. But Adamle and Cole are equaly sucky!

Also, to honor Adamle's win, Roadkill has asked me to post this Adamle video:

hbguyvbf7tgvf7dsitvfg7tsagv7sign--big--sucks--adan yhfb8y

RK: You ass, that's not a video. That's a fake Javascript code! Anyway, onto our next award, presented by Michael Coleslaw, the fast food guy and mobster.

Michael Coleslaw: This next award is The I'd watch it if I could steal it Award, for the best PPV.

Nominees: Backlash

The Savagie goes to: Oh, that was the only PPV. Well, the award was named right, 'casue I did steal it. Me and my mobster buddies. I gotta picture of them right here. To the left. Yep, that was a few years ago. Good times. Good times. Well, gotta give Mike Knox his HGH. He won't grow by himself, you know.

RK: Thanks for your time Mr.Coleslaw. To cap off this award show, here are a few pictures to remember the month by:

Taker's new chokehold:

Knox's HGH:

WWEKIDS Magazine:

March's Savagie Awards

Posted by Roadkill and Majoordood

Roadkill: Welcome to March's Savagies!

Majoordood: The Savagies are our monthly award show. Tonight, we will be handing out awards for the month of March and the first week in April.

RK: Here is the first award:

1st award: Break up of the month Award (For the break-up of the month)

Nominees: Santino and Maria, Edge and The World Heavyweight title, Jeff Hardy and his push

The Savagie goes to: RK:We actually don't know.
MD: Yeah, that's the first time this has ever happened.
RK: Wait! I know who to give it too!
MD: Who?
RK: Well, we all knew Edge was going to lose his WHC, Maria sexually violated Santino during the everything goes match, so that leaves
MD: Jeff Hardy and his push!
RK: Good, idiot.

2nd award: Beef of the month Award (For the rivalry of the month)

Nominees: Finlay vs. JBL, The Undertaker vs. Edge, Floyd Mayweather vs. The Big Show

The Savagie goes to: MD: All of these storylines were just awful. So we just went with that beef you can buy at Costco. It is called beef of the month! And that stuff tastes good.
RK: Are you friggin' kidding?! That crap makes me throw u- BLAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

3rd Award: Match of the month Award (This one is kinda self explanitory, ya know. But just in case Festus is reading this: THIS AWARD IS FOR THE MATCH OF THE MONTH. You happy know, retard?)

Nominees: Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels (WM24), MITB ladder match (WM24), Taker vs. Edge (WM24), HHH vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton (WM24)

The Savagie goes to: RK: We're giving this to Ric Flair. It was his last match.

4th award: Retirement Party of the month Award (For the retirement party of the month)

Nominees: Ric Flair, Robbie Mcallister

The Savagie goes to: MD: Robbie Mcallister!
RK: Yeah, he'll probably be gone so. He goes to friggin' TNA Impact tapings!
MD: And besides, Flair is over 55, so his party was like every other senior citizens.
RK: The first time my father saw Flair, he thought he was 70.
MD: Also, you one 1 award already Flair. Don't get greedy, you damn old fart.

5th award: The Gear Tournament Champion (The winner of our Gear Tournament)

Nominees: Mr.Socko, Jimmy Hart's Megaphone

The Savagie goes to: RK: Majoordood left, so I'll be taking over. Over the past month, we had a tournament to determine the coolest peice of ring gear. Participants included LOD pads, Taker's Urn from Summerslam 1994, and even Hornswoggle. But 2 are left: a sock and a megaphone.

And the winner is...

MR.SOCKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here on to accept this award is Mr.Socko and Mick Foley!

Mick: Thanks guys! I knew turning MR.Socko green for Hornswoggle that one night would get me this award! And here with me is Mr.Socko.

Mr.Socko:

RK: Alright, that's it for this month's savagies! See me next month!

(Fun Fact: I went to the episode were you turned the sock green for Hornswoggle, Mick.)

The first Monthly Savagies!

Posted By Roadkill

Starting now, I will have a monthly WWE Awards show. I will call it: THE SAVGIES! Here are the Savagies for February, 2008:

1st Savagie: The Funaki Award (for the wrestler that has been used the least for the month/ most ignored)

Nominees: Chris Jericho, Mike Knox, Mr.Kennedy, MVP, Batista, Funaki

Savagie goes to: Mike Knox. We only saw him on ECW when he went there for a cup of Kofi.

2nd Savagie: The John Cena Award (for the wrestler that is getting an out-of nowhere push)

Nominees: The Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Tommy Dreamer, John Cena.

Savagie goes to: John Cena. He got a title shot the night he returned. The WWE really must know what their fans want.

3rd Savagie: The best PPV Award (for the best PPV. From any month)

Nominees: No Way Out, Royal Rumble, ROH Man Up

Savagie goes to: ROH Man Up. It's not a WWE PPV, but still, it was good. But "Man Up". That's just an urban Clique. I'd rather name a PPV, "You Done, Son", or "Check Yo' self before you Rickety-Wreck yo' self".

Final Savagie: The lost Gimmick award (for the wrestler who's gimmick has been forgotten)

Nominees: CM Punk, Kane, Matt Stryker, John Cena

Savagie goes to: Kane. He hasn't burned anyone in a whole year. He's below Status Quo.