TNA vs. WWE

Posted by Majoordood and Roadkill

RK: Hi RASLIN' LVING LOSERS.

MD: Today we're here to talk about something serious. And not the kind of serious where Roadkill talks about crappy PPVs or cracks unfunny jokes that only a 3rd grader would find funny.

RK: Today we're here to make you laugh, cry, and maybe even break your monitor because you hate us. But let's start with the laughing. I'll go first. What's 40 feet long and smells like pee? Line dancers at the old folks home! Ain't I hilarious.

MD: First of all, Roadkill, ain't isn't a word. It's conveinient by meaning isn't, aren't, and not, but it still can't be a word. Second of all, you're not funny.

CHAVO GUERRERO: More like da' couwt jetstah, hahhahahhahhahhhha.

RK: What the hell was that?!

CG: It's me, Chavo Guerrero.

MD: Why the hell are you here?!

CG: I knew Roadkill would tell an unfunny joke, so I helped him out by saying something way funnier. I said that same line to CM Punk on SD a few weeks ago, you know.

RK: Chavo, you suck. You were a fluke champion and you rely on a human fence for protection. Speaking of which, didn't you have to jump over one of those to get to this country?

CG: How dare you! I, I...

RK: Whatchgonnadobrutha? Mow my lawn for $10?

CG: Watch out, Roadkill. Me and my L.A. gang member freinds will get you for this. You feel me, esse?

MD: Whatever. Let's get to our point. TNA Impact, WWE's rival promotion, has been beating the WWE in the ratings lately. If this continues, WWE may be no more.

RK: Yeah, it's time to pick a side. Do you want to spend Thursday nights watching The Office, 30 Rock, and My name is Earl on NBC, or do you want to waste your time with Impact?

MD: Yeah, and also, tonight's a good night for Scrubs, which is on NBC (8:30). I hear it's the last episode ever. Also, John Heder of Napolean Dynamite, Blades of Glaory, and School for Scoundrels will be on My Name is Earl tonight (8:00).

RK: Things are serious now. Pick a side. WWE or TNA.

MD: Before you go, you should know that at Wrestlemania 24, TNA was handing out fliers, advertising their show. Also, they had a blimp saying watch TNA go over the Citrus Bowl. Who would want to watch something with that business method.

RK: So think before you watch TNA. It could be the downfall of WWE.

MD: Hey, what's that brownish reddish van doing outside?

RK: I see- OH CRAP! CHAVO'S BACK. He's got his L.A. gang member freinds too. Hey he has other Mexicans. There's Mencia! Lopez! Vickie Guerrero! Joseph Mencia!

MD: There's a border patrol guy tied up in the back! Oh no, this is gonna be very very- HEY! THERE IT IS!

RK: Yeah, I see it too. It's Deady Guerrero's ghost.

KNOCK-KNOCK

MEXICANS: Holmes, we gotcha now. Watcha gonna do now, esse?

BORDER PATROL AGENT: You're in big trouble. I'm deproting all of you.

MENCIA: Oh no! People were actually starting to watch my show!

3 DAYS LATER

RK: Thanks for deporting Chavo for us.

MD: Yeah, now we're safe, and Kane has a new opponent.

BPA: Well, I'm not really a border patrol agent. I'm Edge.

MD AND RK: EDGE?!

EDGE: Yeah, the tiny Mexican was getting on my nerves. Vickie's out next, by the way.

MD: Well, NOTHING LIKE THAT WOULD EVER HAPPEN IN TNA. AND THIS ISN'T JUST A MADE UP STORY, JUST TO GET YOU TO LIKE WWE.

RK: Of-

As Roadkill was writing that last sentence, he was sued by WWE because none of this actually happened, and Vince says it makes the company look bad. We counter-sued, and WWE lost, making us millionaires, making WWE go bankrupt. Well, look on the bright side- I'm rich, biotch.