200TH BLOG SPECTACTULAR!

Posted by Roadkill, Deadpossum, and Majoordood









Welcome to our 200th blog spectacular! Over the past 3 months, this site has been writing post after post about the WWE. Some were groundbreaking, some were intelligent, some gave you fond memories of 2005 and 6 (thank you, blast from the past ppv recapitation), and some were just downright stupid. But now, you will get a taste of everything, including Deadpossum's new segment. You will also see another edition of rivalries, a ranting and raving Majoordood, and a preview of the Gear Tournament finals. So without further adue:









Yeah! I get to go first! It's me, Roadkill. Everyone's favorite parysite that lives on the highway. I'm here to celebrate our 200th blog. Let's start off with another edition of rivalries.














Rivalry: Kane vs. The Undertaker









Why: The Undertaker disgusted by his brother, making Kane go crazy.









How it goes: The road to The Great American Bash. It's Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin on Friday night Smackdown. Kane is about to chokeslam Benjamin, but Shelton slips out and rolls Kane up. Shelton wins. Kane is mad at the loss.




On ECW, It's Kane vs. Elijah Burke. Elijah wins with The Elijah Express. Kane has lost again.




On Smackdown, Kane losses to Chuck Palumbo. He's on a real losing streak.




Next Friday, Kane losses to Kenny Dykstra.




On ECW, Kane loses to Chavo Guerrero. What's going on?!




On Smackdown, the main event is Kane and The Undertaker vs. Umaga and Mark Henry. (Umaga, Henry, and Taker would be in a world title match at the Bash). The Undertaker is dominating, and then he tags in Kane, who screws everything up. Taker and Kane lose.




Next week, The Undertaker says to Kane backstage, "Kane, I hate you. You can't do anything right. I'm ashamed to call you my brother". Kane is gone from Smackdown and ECW until Summerslam.




At Summerslam, The Undertaker fights The Great Khali for the World title in a last man standing match. The Undertaker hits the chokeslam on the ramp. Then Kane comes out, with his old entrance and his mask. Kan chokeslams The Undertaker. Then he repeatidly hits him with a chair and chokeslams him onto the steel steps. Taker is down for the ref's 10 count, and Khali is the new champ.




On Smackdown, Kane fights Mark Henry and Umaga (they were Kane's opponents in the tag match). Kane wins, and after the match, he challenges The Undertaker to a match at Unforgiven. The Undertaker comes out and accepts.




On ECW, Kane beats Jamie Noble.




On Smackdown, The Undertaker faces The Great Khali in a Summerslam rematch, except it's a singles match. Kane interferes, but is tombstoned by The Undertaker.




Next week, Kane beats Jimmy Wang-Yang and Shanon Moore. After the match, The Undertaker comes out and gives Kane a Last Ride.




At Unforgiven, the match is a no contest after Kane hits The Undertaker with a gas canister. This starts a crazy fist fight, which security has to break up.




On ECW, The Undertaker beats Big Daddy V. Kane chokeslams Undertaker after the match.




On Smackdown, Kane challenges The Undertaker to a match at No Mercy. The Undertaker excepts, but then Vickie Guerrero comes out and makes it Kane vs. The Undertaker in a falls count anywhere match at No Mercy. She also announces that next week, Kane will get to pick The Undertaker's opponent.




On Friday, Kane picks MVP to fight Taker. The Undertaker wins. After the match, Vickie Guerrero comes out and says that The Undertaker will pick Kane's opponent next week.




Next week, Kane faces Finlay. Kane wins, and after the match, Kane says, "Taker, this is a message to you". Then he Chokeslams Finlay.




At No Mercy, The Undertaker beats Kane.




On Smackdown, The Undertaker gets a world title shot at The Great Khali. Taker wins. Kane also beats Rey Mysterio in a #1 contender's match, meaning that Kane and Taker will battle for the world title at Cyber Sunday.




On Smackdown, it is announced that fans will pick which stipulation they want at Cyber Sunday. The choices are a First Blood match, an Inferno match, and a Casket match. The Undertaker also beats Mark Henry in the main event. After the match, Taker says, "Kane, you sent me a message 2 weeks ago, so I'll send you one too". Then he Tombstones Mark Henry.




Next week, Kane faces CM Punk in a casket match (since Casket match was a Cyber Sunday choice). Kane wins the casket match. After, the lights go out. The casket is open, and CM Punk is gone. The Undertaker is in the ring, standing behind Kane. He chokeslams Kane into the Casket.




At Cyber Sunday, the match of choice is an Inferno match. Kane wins the match and the title, and The Undertaker is injured.




Kan's reign is long. Very Long. But Taker returns at Royal Rumble, when he wins The Royal Rumble match.




On Smackdown, The Undertaker gets to pick his Wrestlemania opponent. It will be either Kane (WH Champ), The ECW Champ, or The WWE Champ. He picks Kane. They have a staredown. Then Vickie Guerrero comes out and says that at Wrestlemania 25, it will be The Undertaker vs. Kane in a hell in a cell match for the world champion. She also says that next week, these two will face off in a non-title first blood match.




Next week, The Undertaker wins the first blood match. He tries to attack Kane post-match, but Vickie Guerrero comes out and announces that Taker and ane will fight in a non-title casket match at No Way Out.




Next week, The Undertaker and Finlay beat Mark Henry and Kane. Taker tells Kane he will rest in peace at No Way Out.




At No Way Out, Kane wins the casket match. He burns the casket after the match.




On Smackdown, it is announced that The Undertaker is injured and won't be competing at Wrestlemania. Therefore, there will be a 30-man battle royal tonight, and the winner will face Kane at Wrestlemania. When there are about 5 men left, the lights go out and the Undertaker beats the hell outa everyone. Then he says, "Kane, you will pay at Wrestlemania".




Next week, Vickie Guerrero gets a family problems coincilor (or whatever it's called) to help Kane and Taker with their sibling rivalry. He shows a montage of them tagging together, and helping each other with matches. The fans think it's adorable, until Kane and Undertaker double chokeslam the councilor. Then they stare at each other. Kane slowly raises his title up as the show ends.




On Smackdown, The Undertaker beats Chuck Palumbo in the main event. Kane comes in and hits Taker with a steel chair after the match.




On Smackdown, Kane beats Finlay and Hornswoggle. After the match, Taker returns last weeks favor with a chair shot.




On Smackdown, Batista faces The Undertaker in a Wrestlemania 23 rematch. Kane fights Chris Jericho, visiting from Raw. They both win their matches, but Kane chokeslams Taker after his match.




On the Smackdown before Wrestlemania, Vickie Guerrero wants Kane and Undertaker to get along, so she schedules the match that started all of this, Kane and Taker vs. Henry and Umaga. Kane's team wins, but after the match, Kane tombstones Taker through a table.




It is a great match at Wrestlemania, but Taker comes out on top.









Alright, it's time for me to go crazy. I'm still Roadkill. I'm going to rant about someone that I hate, Mark Henry. That guy's belly button is a black hole. You could see the next universe if you looked in that thing. His belly button sucks things right in. Like Matt Stryker. He just couldn't stand to see him with Big Flabby V. And how is he still in one peice? He gets the crap beaten outa him by everyone. Does he still have teeth? Speaking of teeth, look at Vickie Guerrero. How does Edge love her? Are there any dentists backstage? Geez. Take a day off andgo see a dentist. Have slave Theodorus Longus take care of things. It'll benefit all of us.









Alright, I'm Majoordood. As you know, we have been having the gear tournament. Jimmy Hart's Megaphone and Mr.Socko are in the finals. Let's take a look at how they got to the finals:









HART'S MEGAPHONE:



1st round: Hart's megaphone beat Demolition's masks



2nd round: The megaphone takes down Stone Cold's beer



Semifinals: The mouth of the South's megaphone beats London and Kendrick's masks







Mr.Socko:



1st round: Foley's sock beats Brutus Beefcake's Clippers



2nd round: Socko takes down The Undertaker's Urn



Semifinals: The sock beats LOD's shoulder pads







Who will win? Find out at The Savagies.























Hey, this is DEADPOSSUM YO Wuzzup. I am in such a good mood today because this is our 200TH POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, the animal that got run over by a car, I mean Roadkill (good thing I saved myself there) already told you that I will be starting a new series. But the part that he didn't tell you is what it is called. It is like the power 25. I will give you this week's Power 25, and then I will give you what I think it will be if it were right after Mania. Here goes:









This week's Power 25




Week
Movement
Superstar
Last Week
1

EDGE (12)
The World Heavyweight Champion promised a burial for Undertaker's 15-0 streak, but almost got sealed in a casket himself. In Orlando, one 'Mania streak will end. The Rated-R Superstar hopes it's not his.
1
2

UNDERTAKER (7)
The Phenom shocked Edge on SmackDown, popping out of the casket during the mock funeral. Reality is creeping up on Edge, who could see his World Title resting in peace in the hands of The Deadman this Sunday.
2
3

TRIPLE H
The Game brawled with John Cena in the WrestleMania Showcase Match on Raw. Triple H is dead set on reclaiming the WWE Championship after a two-year absence from 'Mania. The Academy likes his chances.
4
4

RANDY ORTON
The WWE Champion found himself on the wrong end of Ric Flair's Figure-Four on Raw, forcing him to tap out. Will Orton be tapping out to an STFU in Orlando? Or be out cold from a Pedigree? Don't count him out yet.
3
5

JOHN CENA
After months of rehab on his torn pectoral muscle, the Chain Gang commander lays it all on the line at WrestleMania XXIV in the WWE Championship Triple Threat Match.
5
6

BATISTA
The Animal fought off Raw's dentally-challenged bruiser, Snitsky, on SmackDown, proving he's primed for his WrestleMania battle against the Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga.
6
7

CHAVO GUERRERO
The ECW Champion defeated Tommy Dreamer Tuesday night, but he has 24 potential opponents to face at WrestleMania after the Battle Royal. How will Chavo be able to properly plan for his title defense?
8
8

CM PUNK
The Straightedge Superstar went 1-1 for the week, losing in tag action on Raw, but defeating John Morrison on SmackDown in singles action. Money in the Bank is up next for the former ECW Champion.
7
9

SHAWN MICHAELS
HBK told Ric Flair he'd put him out of his misery in their Career Threatening Match at WrestleMania. What hurt worse, HBK? The slaps from your best friend, or the low blow from Nature Boy during the main event?
9
10

CHRIS JERICHO
The Intercontinental Champion lost in tag action on Raw, but defeated United States Champion MVP on SmackDown. With past Money in the Bank experience, Y2J is one of the Academy's favorites to win at WrestleMania.
10
11

FINLAY
With a Belfast Brawl on tap for the Irish bruiser at WrestleMania, sources say Finlay visited Hornswoggle in the hospital before flying to Orlando. Will the visit motivate, or enrage Finlay as he battles JBL?
11
12

BETH PHOENIX
The Women's Champion was on the winning team in Six-Man Intergender Tag Team action on Raw. She must like her odds at BunnyMania at WrestleMania, as her and Melina have past title reigns.
13
13

BIG SHOW
The Largest Athlete in the World showed he is ready for Floyd Mayweather's challenge at WrestleMania by manhandling both John Cena and Triple H in Raw's main event. Money, be afraid. Be very afraid.
14
14

KANE
The Big Red Machine couldn't top Mark Henry in SmackDown's Over-the-Top-Rope Challenge. Will the former WWE Champion prevail in the 24-man Battle Royal at WrestleMania XXIV? We like his odds.
12
15

JOHN MORRISON & THE MIZ
The WWE Tag Team Champions were unsuccessful on their own this week, as both suffered losses in separate SmackDown matches. Morrison aims to climb the ladder at Money in the Bank this Sunday.
15
16

RIC FLAIR
Could this be the last ever time we see the Nature Boy on the P25? It was a great moment to see Flair make Randy Orton tap out on Raw, but can the 16-time World Champion do the same to HBK in Orlando?
18
17

UMAGA
The Samoan Bulldozer grabbed a microphone for the first time on Raw, and issued a threat to Batista in Samoan. At least, we think it was ... it might have been his dinner order, for all we know...
17
18

MONTEL VONTAVIOUS PORTER
The United States Champion has his hands full with Chris Jericho this week on both Raw and SmackDown. Will the "Franchise Playa" shine brightest at WrestleMania from the top of the Money in the Bank ladder?
19
19

MR. KENNEDY
Last year, he promised to use the Money in the Bank briefcase to take the WWE Championship at WrestleMania XXIV. He's only one Money in the Bank win away from making that promise a reality.
16
20

SHELTON BENJAMIN
ECW's "Gold Standard" defeated Carlito in a Money in the Bank tune-up match. Look for the former Intercontinental Champion to surprise many with his ladder work at Money in the Bank. He's our dark horse.
21
21

KOFI KINGSTON
Jamaica must be proud of their native son, who continues his hot streak in WWE. This week, Kingston picked up a win in six-man tag action on SmackDown. Will he be left standing at the end of ECW's Battle Royal?
20
22

THE GREAT KHALI
The Punjabi giant tore through one of the toughest men on Raw, Hardcore Holly, in singles action this week. Who's going to step up and toss the former WWE Champion over the top rope at 'Mania?
22
23

JESSE & FESTUS
The biscuits and gravy boys were winners on SmackDown in six-man tag action. With both men in the 24-man Battle Royal for an ECW Title opportunity, will teamwork be key to surviving the WrestleMania melee?
23
24

MARK HENRY
The World's Strongest Man was tops in SmackDown's Over-the-Top-Rope Challenge, defeating Chuck Palumbo, Kane and The Great Khali. He'll be a force to reckoned with in the Battle Royal.
NR
25

JOHN "BRADSHAW" LAYFIELD
The Texas tycoon has a world of pain in store for Finlay in their Belfast Brawl at WrestleMania. With no rules to constrain their fight, will the Citrus Bowl be big enough to contain them?

24

25







P25 after mania



1.Undertaker

Look what I brought home little brother! I found gold in Florida outside in this square thing called a ring. I didn't even have to dig it up. All I had to do was beat this guy called the Rated-G-Superstar named Edge. But he didn't exactly have an Edge.



2. Randy Orton

Oh No... I guess we will have to by the Randy Orton "Get used to chinlocks" T-Shirt



3. CM Punk

MRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Money in the bank.



4. Shawn Michaels

Flair's carreer is over.



5. Batista

Brand Supremacy goes to Smackdown!



6. Triple H

Aw man Steph, I'm sorry.



7. John Cena

Pinned for once.



8. Edge

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU LOSE!!



9. Kane

I got gold



10. Chavo Guerrero

5 second loss.



11. Floyd "Money" Mayweather

He beat The Big Show. I thought if he punched him, his hands
would be stuck in Show's stomach, but alas, I was wrong.

12. Ric Flair

Listen, he lost, but you gotta hand it to 'em. He wrestled for 35 straight years. It's the end now, but he left a hellofa legacy. And for that, Flair, I applaud you.

14. Finlay

Nice job beating Bradshaw. *Post Wrestlemania note: He lost*

15. Chris Jericho

This is a prediction for after Wrestlemania, and the P25 comes out on Saturday. So that means if something big happens during the week, it can count too. Well, Roadkill thinks that Jericho is going to take Punk's MITB breifcase this week. So for that, I am putting him on this list.

16. Ashley and Maria

They won! They won! *Post Wrestlemania not: They didn't win*

17. TNA Wrestling

They are not part of WWE, but they are trying to sabotage Wrestlemania. *Post 'Mania note: The sabotage backfired*

18. Beth Phoenix and Melina

Probably gonna lose, but they're a good team. *Post Wrestlemania note: THEY WON!*

19. Matt Hardy

He returned at Mania! *Post Mania note: I knew he would return. I KNEW IT!*

20. Mark Henry

He did a good job in the battle royal. *Post WM24 Note: He did do a good job!*

21. Shelton Benjamin

He did great in the MITB match. *Post note: He did great!*

22. JBL

Ha! You lost to a leprachaun and his daddy!! *Post Note: He beat the Leprachaun and his daddy*

23. Audience

They held back the tears when Flair lost. *Post Mania note: They cried so much that the athletes who play here are gonna slip left and right next season*

24. People who bought Mania

Thank you, if you bought Wrestlemania. You just payed for Funaki's incredibly low paycheck.

25. Vince Mcmahon

Thanks for making Wrestlemania.

Well, this is Deadpossum signing off. See you at our 300th blog spectactular! And keep reading!

Last word: I put those post Wrestlemania things up because I finished the P25 15 minutes after Wrestlemania. Sorry!

HOF CEREMONY!

Posted by CD619

The hall of fame ceremony is tonight. Superstars such as Ric Flair and the Brisco Brothers will be inducted. You can watch it on the USA network at 11:00 PM.

The Smackdown Rant

Posted by Roadkill

Sorry guys, but I have to think up ideas for our 200th blog spectactular. So I'm just posting the results.

Mark Henry wins 4 man battle royal

CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Kofi Kingston, Jesse and Festus def. Trevor Murdoch, Lance Cade, and Miz

Batista def. Snitsky

Cherry and Michelle Mcool def. Victoria and Maryse: Specail ref Eve/ Water gun match

Chris Jericho def. MVP via DQ

GO ON THE BEST WEBSITE EVER (next the deadopossum)

posted by deadguy321












Go on the this website it is realy good it is about sports and we will give you e mail addresses to coaches and you will give us comments if he responded or not and if you do make sure you tell everyone you know.

Roadkill's Corner

Posted by Roadkill

Here is how to win GM mode in SD vs. Raw 2008: (It's crazy and it works)

Be Raw. Pick Shawn Michaels and Rey Mysterio. Sign each of them for a year. Exit the draft.

Make HBK clean and Rey dirty. Make HBK WWE Champ and Rey the IC Champ.

On the options menu, make Injuries off, put it on legend difficulty, and put the card on re-run.

Buy the Undisputed champion rivalry and Legend killer rivalry. (Legend killer rivalry is already bought).

Make a 13 week long rivalry between Rey and HBK. Use the Undisputed Champion or Legend killer rivalry

For the first Raw, use this match card:

1st: IC Champ, normal match
2nd: Ladder match
3rd: TLC match
4th: Hardcore match
5th: Steel Cage, WWE Title

For the months of April and May, your week will go like this:
Monday: Raw
Tuesday: Shawn Michaels Fan Favorite training
Wednesday: Rey Mysterio Fan heat training
Thursday: HBK Fan Favorite training
Friday: Rey Mysterio fan heat training

Hint: Do not skip over Raw by all means DO NOT SKIP OVER RAW! I did it once and it was a blank match card. That means no show! And the fans hate that.

After May, your week will go like this for the rest of the year:

Monday: Raw
Tuesday: Trophy date- HBK
Wed.: Trophy Date -Rey Mysterio
Thur.: Trophy date- HBK
Fri.: Trophy Date- Rey Mysterio

Your PPVs should go like this:
1st: TLC match
2nd: Hardcore
3rd: 20-minute Ironman
4th: IC title- steel cage
5th: WWE title- Hell in a cell

Hints: You may get off to a slow start, but that's okay. The slow start is worth the 73 5 star matches you have.
Run Promos. You will have the thing in the bag before Survivor Series.
Mcmahon pulls you aside and tells you you're GM of the year. You may think that is the end, but it's not. Keep playing until Wrestlemania, no matter what.

Bummers:
September and early October are the hardest parts. At Unforgiven, you get 3 matches and a Elimanation Chamber, but you need 6 men for that. Expect a 2 star rating at Unforgiven.
You can't participate in the royal rumble match. Oh well. But hey, if you are the brand with the highest ratings at Wrestlemania, you get the main event.

Tommy Dreamer:
ECW is so bad it's funny. In the game, they are in last and are trailing by 3 million fans. Yet, they send you threats saying that they're gonna beat your brand. It's quite funny, actually, how they threaten you but never do anything.

Last word:
This sounds crazy, but it works. It won me GM mode in 2 1/2 hours

The Top Ten

Posted by Majoordood

Every week I rank the top ten superstars in WWE. Here are the rankings for the week of 3/24/08:

1. Ric Flair. He did good on Raw. It's kinda sad that Monday was his last Raw appearance.
2. Mark Henry. He got a face pop! A freakin' FACE POP!
3. Chavo Guerrero. He beat Tommy Dreamer.
4. Shelton Benjamin. He beat Carlio on ECW.
5. Chris Jericho. He had a good week. He didn't win, but he still sent a message to the 6 other men in the MITB match.
6. MVP. He pinned CM Punk in a tag match on Raw.
7. Melina and Beth Phoenix. They won their 6 man (6 women?) tag team match on Raw. Maria and Candice better match out on Sunday.
8. The Undertaker. He finally got his hands on Edge.
9. Snitsky. Nice match on ECW.
10. Michelle Mcool and Cherry. They both made it to the finals in the dominate diva competition or whatever it's called.

Best of the Week: Week of 3/24/08

Posted by Majoordood

Every week I pick a few superstars from each brand. They are that brands best of the week. Here are the best of the week for the week of 3/24/08:

RAW'S BEST OF THE WEEK:
Ric Flair. He made Orton tap out, he made an enemy with HBK (finally), and he made his last appearance on Raw. (Oh, come on guys. You all knew that that was his last appearance on Raw. He's not gonna go past Wrestlemania. It would be stupid on the WWE Creative team's part).

ECW'S BEST OF THE WEEK:
Chavo Guerrero. He beat Tommy Dreamer.

SMACKDOWN'S BEST OF THE WEEK:
Mark Henry. I thought I'd never say this, but this guy has talent. He got a face pop too, which is something else I was sure would never happen. He turned on Khali! Henry and Khali tagged together when Roadkill saw Smackdown with Deadpossum.

Announcement!

Posted by Roadkill

I have a major announcement! We are near our 200th post! Isn't that amazing?! But I want us to have our 200th post this weekend. Why? It's Wrestlemania weekend! So look for alot of posts this weekend.

Some of the posts you will see this weekend are:

Best of the Week (Majoordood)

The Top Ten (Majoordood)

The Smackdown Rant (Roadkill. And I won't bail on you this time)

An edition of Roadkill's corner (Roadkill)

Blast from the past PPV recapitation (Wrestlemania 23/Posted by Roadkill)

Spoilers/ Carlito with release papers in hand/Lots More

Posted by Roadkill

Here are the spoilers for Smackdown(courtesy of wrestlezone.com):

Dark Match: Ron Killings def. Kenny Dykstra

Smackdown Tapings:

Mark Henry def. Kane, Chuck Palumbo, and The Great Khali in a 4 man battle royal

Chavo Guerrero is introduced at the start of the show and does guest commentary. Match itself is rather short. Kane is eliminated first and followed by Chuck Palumbo (both by Khali, I believe.) Henry and Khali trade chops and punches for a bit, then Henry lifts up Khali for a body slam and throws him over the top rope. Henry receives a face pop for his disposing of Khali.

Chavo sneaks into the ring after the match and takes out Henry at the knees. He works on him for a bit before Henry comes back and gives Chavo a bodyslam and splash.

Teddy Long is backstage with Eve, Cherry, and Michelle McCool. He announces that Eve has been eliminated from the Diva competition. Maryse and Victoria show up and start arguing with everyone. Teddy says the only way to settle this is with a ‘Diva Super Soaker/Water Balloon Tag Match’ or whatever the hell he called it. Yikes.

CM Punk def. John Morrison

Jesse, Festus, and Kofi Kingston def. Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, and the Miz

Batista def. Snitsky

Michelle McCool and Cherry def. Victoria and Maryse w/ Eve as special referee in the ‘Diva Super Soaker/Water Balloon Tag Match

Chris Jericho def. MVP via DQ

Funeral Ceremony :

The ring is set up with full funeral arrangement garb and resembles a wake. The black flowers and wreaths are present, along with a picture of the Undertaker and a podium for Edge to speak. A casket is in the middle of the ring. Edge and his entire posse are present in formal attire. Edge gives a eulogy on the Undertaker, covers his accomplishments, and lists his Wrestlemania opponents. He comments on how that time has now come to an end.

Vickie interrupts and says she has a gift for Edge. It’s a video in the style of a movie preview promoting Edge as a superhero for conquering the Undertaker. When Edge starts a final prayer, the lights go dark and Undertaker’s music and video plays. The casket opens and Taker ambushes Edge. He assaults him in the corner until Edge is able to escape. The tapings end with Taker posing in the middle of the ring.

Someone screwed up during this segment and really exposed the product. When the lights dropped and the music/video started, it seemed to go on longer that what you’d normally expect. One of the producers who had been outside on the corner ring steps for the entire segment then literally jumped onto the apron and banged on the back of the casket in plain sight. He hopped back down and the casket opened. I was just a few feet away from this since I was sitting 3rd row floor on the TV side. All of us in the area looked at each other literally dumbfounded since it was painfully obvious. I understand this type of segment isn’t necessarily ‘believable’ to begin with and it’s nothing that will show on TV, but it kills any type of suspension of disbelief that the crowd needs to have to be fully invested with the product. I can’t possibly believe that’s how it was designed in the first place. It definitely looked amateurish.

Carlito appeared on the Between the Ropes radio show on Thursday night and he had some interesting things to say.

On whether he was really close to leaving WWE back in December: "I was close. I was almost out the door. I had my release papers in my hand at one point. We talked some things over and now I think we've smoothed things out, so we'll see how things go... Don't get me wrong, WWE is a great company and Vince McMahon is a great guy."

On how things are going now for him in WWE, he said: "Things aren't great. It's a work in progress, so we'll see how it goes. Carlito's been sucking for a long time so hopefully 2008 will be a lot better."

On playing the babyface role: "Carlito in no way is a babyface. That's where all the trouble started is they made Carlito a babyface, which I was totally against. The character is not a babyface... I'm back in my comfortable surroundings so hopefully it goes well."

WWE.com has a new feature now online on the annual THQ Superstar Challenge, which featured Elijah Burke winning for the second straight year. They also have a video recapping the competition.

THQ, the creator of WWE's beloved videogame franchise "SmackDown vs. RAW" has revealed the first details for the 2009 edition. Here is what's new for this year's SmackDown vs. RAW game:

The game will be available on PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii, Nintendo DS, PSP, PlayStation 2 and mobile devices.

The biggest change in the action will come with a strong focus on tag teams. Tag teams -- both in and out of Road to WrestleMania -- will utilize the same momentum meter, break opponents with double team finishers and make "hot tags" for the win. For the first time ever, players will be able to team up for co-op storylines in the Road to WrestleMania mode and take advantage of an overhauled tag structure to earn attributes on their way to the top. You can read a 9-page interview with the game developers here where they talk in-depth about the Road to Wrestlemania feature.

Also making its debut will be Create-A-Finisher, which allows fans to choose from more than 500 animations in their quest to build the ultimate move.

On the 360 and PS3 versions of the game, fans can look for the debut of SVR downloadable content - including downloadable superstars, legends, arenas, outfits, music, movesets and more.

On the Nintendo Wii, there will be more match types, more weapons and the debut of online gameplay, which will feature matches and rankings. The Wii version be the only place to find interactive entrances and victory celebrations that range from posing on the ramp to slapping the taste out of a beaten opponent. Get the crowd hyped on your way to the ring for an in-match bonus.

On the Nintendo DS version, Gone are the stylus-heavy controls of last year and in their place is a more traditional d-pad/grapple system gamers that have grown up with, although the stylus will still play some part in the action. There will be a season mode with an RPG approach. Players will interact with Superstars, upgrade their abilities and complete missions to become the champion. Create-A-Superstar will make its Nintendo handheld debut, there will be a larger roster of Superstars, and the title will pack a wealth of new match types.

So far Chris Jericho, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Randy Orton, Mr. Kennedy, Undertaker and John Cena are confirmed for the game.

Rivalries

Posted by Roadkill

Whelp, I did it my my site and I'm bringing it here. It's Rivalries! The segment where I come up with storylines that I think the WWE should use. But this is just a test, like a pilot on a tv show. If you want me to have more rivalries segments, just say so when you comment. If you hate this, and never want to read it again, say so when you comment. If you can't comment, tell me how you liked it in an email. (My email adress is roadkill25@gmail.com ). So, without further adue:

Rivalry: Triple H vs. The Undertaker (more people get involved, though)

Why: Triple H wants to be the World and WWE Champ.

How it goes: At Wrestlemania, Triple H and The Undertaker both win. You will be happy they won then, but you may regret rooting for Triple H.

On Raw, Triple H says that winning is nice, but he wants the World Heavyweight title too. He bad-mouths The Undertaker and the fans boo. Randy Orton comes out and says that he doesn't care if Triple H is the world champ, as long as he gets his WWE title back. Then William Regal comes out and says that tonight's main event is Triple H vs. Randy Orton. If Triple H wins, he faces The Undertaker for the world title at Backlash, meaning that he doesn't have to defend his title at the pay per view. If Orton wins, he is the new WWE Champion. This match is a no DQ match too. Triple H wins, and after the match, the Undertaker comes out and says, "Triple H, you should've been happy with just the WWE title. Because you were greedy, you stepped into the deaman's courtyard. And in the deadman's courtyard, you will scream in agony and pain. I will make sure you Rest In Peace".

On Smackdown, The Undertaker faces MVP. Triple H interferes, but is chokeslammed.

On Raw, Triple H is on the highlight reel. Triple H and Jericho don't get along, so Triple H faces Jericho later that night. It ends in a no contest, as The Undertaker interferes and tombstones Triple H.

On Smackdown, The Undertaker and Chris Jericho lose to Triple H and MVP. After the match, Triple H pedigrees The Undertaker.

On Raw, The Undertaker beats Snitsky. Triple H beats Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly in a handicapped match. After the match, he pedigrees Rhodes twice and hits Hardcore Holly with a sledgehammer. He says, "Undertaker, take a good look at the tag team champs. This is what you're gonna look like at Backlash."

On ECW, The Undertaker squashes Elijah Burke in the opening match. He taps to his move that has yet to be named.

On Smackdown, The Undertaker beats Duece 'n' Domino to start off the show. Triple H beats Finlay in the main event. After, Triple H says, "Undertaker, I will be 2 champions as of Backlash. I'll do anything to win. Hell, I'll end your career if I have to. But take a look at Finlay. He's just been beat. That's exactly what's gonna happen to you."

On Raw, The Undertaker beats JBL. Triple H, in an interview, vows to win the World title at Backlash.

On ECW, Triple H is DQ'd against Balls Mahoney, after he hits him with his sledgehammer.

On Smackdown, Triple H beats Jimmy Wang-Yang in a short match. The Undertaker beats The Great Khali in the main event. After the match, Triple H comes out and hits The Undertaker with a sledgehammer.

At Backlash, Triple H is interviewed before the match. He hypes up the match a bit and vows to win, again. The Undertaker retains his title against Triple H in the main event. The match is a good 20 to 30 minutes, and ends when The Undertaker makes Triple H tap to the move that has not been named.

On Raw, Edge starts off the show with The Cutting Edge. His guest is Triple H. He says that he should get another world title shot. Edge then says that he deserves a rematch, because he was champion before Undertaker and has a rematch clause in his conract. Then John Cena comes out and says that he doesn't give a damn about The Undertaker, and he wants a WWE title shot. Then William Regal comes out and announces that at Judgement Day, it will be John Cena vs. The Undertaker vs. Edge vs. Triple H, and it will be for the WWE and World Heavyweight title.Regal then says that tonight, The Undertaker will pick Triple H's opponent. He picks Kane, and Triple H wins. He ends the night by posing with the WWE title in his hand.

On Smackdown, Triple H gets to pick The Undertaker's opponent. He picks Randy Orton. The Undertaker wins, and he ends the night by posing with his title in hand.

On Raw, Edge gets to pick Cena's opponent. He picks Umaga. Edge interferes, and beats the hell out of Cena. Then Triple H comes out and it's a 3-way brawl. Then the lights go out (I think we know what that means) and it's a 4-man melle. The security gaurds have to come out to break it up.

On ECW, Triple H and The Undertaker have to team up to fight Edge's men, Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins. H and Taker win, but The Undertaker tombstones Triple H after the match.

On Smackdown, John Cena picks Edge's opponent. He picks Finlay. Edge wins, and after the match, Cena, H, and Taker come out, causing a 4-way brawl, which has to be broken up by security.

On Raw, Edge, Ryder, and Hakins face Cena, Taker, and Triple H. Cena's team wins, but after the match, Edge and his men attack Cena, H, and Taker.

On ECW, Cena and Edge co-exist to beat 2 jobbers. After the match, Edge's men attack Cena.

On Smackdown, Taker and Cena face Edge and Triple H. Taker's team wins. Edge's men come in and try to attack Cena, Taker, and H, but it backfires, as Cena FUs Ryder, H pedigrees Hawkins, and Taker Tombstones Edge. Then the lights go out. When they go back on, Taker has H and Cena by the throat, and Edge and his men are layed out on the floor. Taker double chokeslams Cena and H, as he motions for the title.

At Judgement Day, Triple H wins.

On Raw, Triple H brags about his win. Then the lights go out. The Undertaker challenges Triple H to a falls count anywhere match for The World title at One Night Stand. Triple H says he'll think about it, and then he is chokeslamed.

On Smackdown, the main event is The Undertaker vs. Edge. Taker wins, and then says, "Triple H, I'm waiting for an answer", and then Tombstones Edge.

On Raw, Triple H accepts his match, and beats Jeff Hardy in the main event.

On ECW, The Undertaker squashes Big Daddy V and Matt Stryker in a handicapped match. He then motions for the title.

On Smackdown, The Undertaker beats Ryder and Hawkins in the main event. Triple H comes out and spinebusters Undertaker, which is followed by a pedigree.

At One Night Stand, it is a great match but The Undertaker wins.

The final enstallment of Roadkill's look at Wrestlemania

Posted by Roadkill

We are only 2 days away from Wrestlemania 24, the biggest wrestling event of the year! (They said the same thing about wrestlefanfest, but we all know how that ended up). Because we are so close to Mania, I have been previewing all the matches on the card. So, without further adue, I will preview the 2 main events:

Edge vs. The Undertaker:
This match is for the world heavyweight title. We all know that Edge will win, but I'm a bit surprised that The Undertaker is the one getting a title shot this year. He won the title last year too for God's sake! They should give another superstar a shot. Maybe like, uhh, I donno, KANE! This guy held one singles title in his whole decade long career. And he held it for a 23 hours. He is a fan favorite, and he's never gotten a big push. The fans would love it, too. This is the match that never happened- the one that was supposed to happen in the summer- the one that Kane was going to win. But it never happened because of Edge's injury. This would be a great match, it would be highly anticipated, and Kane would finally headline Wrestlemania- instead of the same person headlining it every year.

Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. John Cena:
This match is for the WWE title. Now lets look at the competitors. Randy Orton could win, but Vince isn't gonna have a heel headline Wrestlemania. John Cena is filming a movie, and he will still be filming after Wrestlemania. If your champ isn't around, you hardly have a show. So that leaves Triple H. He's married to the bosses daughter and the fans love him. Well, I guess Triple H is our winner.

Before I go, here are my official match predictions:

Chris Jericho wins Money In The Bank
Finlay def. JBL
Umaga def. Batista
Candice and Maria def. Phoenix and Melina
Floyd Mayweather def. Big Show
Shawn Michaels def. Ric Flair
The Undertaker def. Edge
Triple H def. Randy Orton, John Cena
? wins 24 man battle royal
? def. Chavo Guerrero

I know some of my predictions have changed, so let me clarify. Jeff Hardy was suspended, meaning he's not in the MITB match. Jericho was my second choice, so I'm going with him for the ladder match. As for the Umaga/Batista thing, I have a good reason for changing my prediction. This is a brand superiority match, and lately, the WWE has been pushing for Raw
to be the supeior brand. But that hasn't been the case, so they'll have Raw win the brand vs. brand match.

Sorry/ NBA Site

posted by deadpossum



First, I would like to start off saying that I am truthfully sorry I haven't been blogging lately. I've had so much work to do but Spring Break made everything better and I, Deadpossum is back. But, this post is really about a new site that I made. You may be asking yourself: How does Deadpossum catch up with all of his blogs? The answer is simple...I don't! That's why I haven't blogged here in a month. Anyway, the new site I made is called www.quicknbanews.blogspot.com . It is about information on the NBA (National Basketball Association) and spoilers about players and coaches private information. Most of you know what spoilers are because we mention them in ALMOST EVERY POST so if you don't know what spoilers are, you should get eyeglasses. So go on www.quicknbanews.blogspot.com . Also blogging there will be my friend, deadguy 321.

The Smackdown Rant: 3/21/08 episode

Posted by Roadkill





Welcome to Smackdown, losers. We see Batista vs. Umaga in an animated match. No Batista didn't suddenly grow charisma, or learn how to cut a promo. It's a Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 match. Batista wins. But for now, the real Batista faces Duece 'n' Domino, just in case some people are late getting to the arena.





1st match: Batista beats, I mean vs. Duece 'n' Domino





Batista isn't Big Show, so this match involves tagging in and out. It's pretty good for a squash match. Batista loses at first, but then he throws Domino into a pole and Batista Bombs Duece. But don't think Domino was hurt from the pole. He sees Duece's every night.





Winner: Batista





Hey, it's Maryse! She was voted the world's crappiest diva that the fans don't want to see, but she's still here. That only because she's "doing TLO favors". Oh, you saw it. A month ago she said she wanted to show him something, and went behind a locked door with him. Anyway, she reminds Cherry that Duece 'n' Domino just lost. But that's just because she's french and doesn't like stereotypical Americans- DUECE, DOMINO, CADE, MURDOCH. She then says the Diva Contest Competition Extravaganza or whatever the hell that takes up an entire segment every week is rigged, which frankly that is just crap. WWE may have Michelle McCool win everything and have her strip the longest and have the announcers put her over as an orgasm personified, but damnit, extreme bias is where they draw the line! They do have morals, Maryse. She then calls Cherry a dog and leaves. You know, it'd probably be easier to boo Maryse if the Diva she called a dog, well, wasn't one. Commercials!



We are back and it'sVickie's slave, Theodorus Longus. Without his master! Run, TLO, run! There's a vacant barn down the block! But, he doesn't run. But the lake's only half a mile from here! Still, he stays put, because he has to watch a bunch of prostitutes arm wrestle each other. Yes, it's the 3rd part of the "Divas do crap while you take a crap and get a snack" tournament. This time, it's an arm wrestling tourny. Because the divas can't actually wrestle each other. No, no. Even though it would probably be the best match tonight (look at the card). Anyway, Victoria beats Eve by blowing her. Michelle beats Cherry, and then beats Victoria. As if you didn't think she would win. Come on, the announcers are bias when it comes to her, and she wins like every match. Then Victoria is elimanated, and goes into a rampage, but Michelle stops her. SuperMcool does it again! Her kryptonite- none! Her talent- dry in that department too! Commercials!




Back to the same crap about Big Show and Floyd Mayweather they've run ad nauseum. A giant threw a skinny dude whose never wrestled before and a bunch of guys broke his fall? Crap, where's my check book?!


And now for a match we've seen ad nauseum since Big Show's returned - Big Show vs Some Cruiserweights. Holy crap, that's the Naturals! And some other dude. But the Naturals!

Actually I wasn't a huge fan of them in TNA. They were basically just a way to have America's Most Wanted not have the tag titles for a few months, before winning them again in tremendous fashion, of course. Oh, well. Pink bandanas are still kind of cool, I guess. They also show an interview with Chris Jericho where he says Big Show is strong.


2nd match: Big Show vs Chase Stevens & Andy Douglas & Other Guy.

Show throws them all around before landing a Final Cut on Stevens. He then chops the other guy before sending both him and Stevens out of the ring. A punch to Douglas's face gets him the win.



Winner: Show. As if he was gonna lose. Commercials!



3rd match: Edge vs. Funaki



Edge hits tombstone, mocking Taker.



Winner: Edge. This is the night of the living squash matches.

Listen, I'm a busy man. Here are the rest of the results:

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo: No contest
Miz and Morrison def. Jesse and Festus
The Undertaker def. Chavo Guerrero

Sorry, but I promise next week will be very funny.

The top ten: Week of 3/17/08

Posted by Majoordood

Every week, Roadkill ranks the top ten superstars in WWE. But hell, I'm taking over this segement too. This is the second segment I'm stealing from him. He-He. I'm so evil.

1. Big Show. How many people can say the've knocked Jericho out cold?
2. Cena. Nice job with Randy Orton.
3. Randy Orton. Nice job with Cena.
4. Triple H. He has the most momentum going into Wrestlemania.
5. Miz and Morriosn. They're a damn good tag team.
6. Ric Flair. He hit Mr.Mcmahon in the Blarney Stones to win his match. But can he beat Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania?
7. CM Punk. He won a 6 man tag team match and beat Carlito in the same week.
8. Chavo Guerrero. He probably ended Colin Delany's career.
9. Mark Henry. He decimated Khali, Palumbo, and Kane. Nice job!
10. James Curtis. He's a jobber, but let me tell you something. He's Roadkill's favorite jobber and he's pretty entertaining to watch. Oh God, am I talking this way about a friggin' JOBBER?!

Best of the Week: 3/17/08

Posted by Majoordood

Every week Roadkill picks 2or 3 superstars from each brand to be the brand's "Best of the Week". But now, I'm taking over this segment. Prepare to be wowed, you wrestling nerds. (Oh, here are this week's best of the week):

RAW'S BEST OF THE WEEK:
Triple H, John Cena, Randy Orton, and Big Show. That's more than three people but it still counts. I mean, they all deserve this Best of the Week title. Show knocked Jericho out cold, Cena and Orton did a good job co-existing, and Triple H got ahellofalota momentum going into Wrestlemania.

ECW'S BEST OF THE WEEK:
Chavo Guerrero. Nice match against Colin Delany.

SMACKDOWN'S BEST OF THE WEEK:
The Miz and John Morrison. These guys are on a big damn roll as tag team champs.

Blast from the past PPV recapitation

Posted by Roadkill

Welcome to Wrestlemania 21! The showcase over the immortals!...But hey, if this was really true, don’t you think there’d be a whole lot less dead wrestlers out there? Just saying.

This Wrestlemania 21 is Wrestlemania goes Hollywood. If you call LA HollyWood. Anyway, Lillian Garcia will start off the show with the national anthem. Why? Because she is an exceptional singer and everyone loved her CD. Sadly, "Canada, the cold and depressing" and "England, the grey, damp and colorless" were left off Lillian's song list. Too bad.

No real opening video package here, rather, we just get another movie parody, this time of Stone Cold Steve Austin doing “Gladiator”. Hey, I didn’t know they had plastic orthopedic knee braces in Ancient Rome!

1st match: Eddie Guerrero w/ lying, cheating, stealing vs. Rey Mysterio w/ lying...about his height. 5'6"? Come on.

WWE is weird. Rey and Eddie have a great rivalry, and 6 months later, Rey is kissing Eddie's ass because of the steriod scandal. Wait! What do you mean Ed- HE DIED! THE STERIODS KILLED HIM! GODDAM SIGNATURE PHARMCY!!

My apologies to any Guerrero fan. He has cool hydrolics- I guess. Speaking of which, Rey doesn't come out in a vehicular- err...- vehicle. I'm sure there's a tricycle waiting backstage for him.

Cole mentions that Eddie was main eventing Wrestlemania last year. Yeah, just bury the poor guy, Cole. Let everyone know what a curtain jerker he is. That's like going to a freakin' cancer ward and telling the guy "Just last year you had hair and more than six months to live". I hate Cole. Why not just tell everyone next that Eddie's wife is fat, and he suffers from Erectile dysfunction? Might as well strike while the iron's hot, jerk.

The 1 drawback tonight is that Rey's mask keeps almost falling off. I can relate. The same thing happens to my pants- well, I'm not gonna go there.Anyway, Mysterio hits a great flying corkscrew plancha on Eddie on the arena floor, then eventually, back inside, Eddie regains the advantage, and hits all Three Amigos. Start with Chevy Chase. He deserves it for making such crappy movies. OK then. Anyway, Eddie goes up, but misses the frog splash, as Rey, unlike, umm, frogs has the presence of mind to roll clear. It's at this point that Cole starts rattling on whether we'll see the "REAL" Eddie Guerrero tonight. Real Eddie? Quite frankly, I'm a little surprised that Eddie had the know-how to create a completely identical clone of himself. But if anyone could do it, it's Eddie. In fact, I picture him breaking into a Lab, stealing the vital DNA information needed to create such a replica, then quickly tossing his weapon to a security guard, and laying out cold on the ground. While the rest of the security guards bicker, Eddie then slips out, and jumps into his get away low-rider and bounces out of there to the beats of his wrestling theme music. Completely plausible, right? OK, maybe not. I truly suspect John Ace had a hand in it. He's been wanting an entire company full of clones for years, so it is the most likely answer....

Rey hits the 619, but Eddie counters the West Coast Pop into a powerbomb. The end sees Eddie try a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker, but Rey rolls through into a cradle and picks up the win. The real Eddie backstage then cries out in anger, while the Eddie Guerrero clone in the ring dissolves into liquid, and is quickly replaced by a second without anyone noticing. True story.

Winner: Rey Mysterio. This is his first 'Mania win. And this is Eddie's Umpenteenth Wrestlemania loss. When your only PPV win in a year is against Luther Reigns, you know your in a bad position.

JBL is seen walking in the back with his chief of staf and new U.S. Champion(dear lord) O.J. And for the record, that's Orlando Jordan and not O.J. Simpson. Although, with the impending 2005 Divas search coming up quickly, I'd personally have no problems with Jordan spontaneously turning to random murder. Just saying. Hell, someone could just hand Vince a waiter's tray too, we'll make a night of it!

JBL then sees Triple H, and they argue over who is the better champ. That's like Akon vs. Michael Cole in a street cred contest. They both swear to win or whatever and we're onto our next match.

2nd match: Edge vs. Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Christain vs. Chris Jericho vs. GUY WHO NEVER EXISTED

Ya' know why I love this segment? I'll tell you. Because every time I do one of these *SURPRISE* Benoit is in a mid-card match, meaning I can make all the dead people jokes I want. I'm a horrible person.

WWE stinks when it comes to ladder matches. To them, a ladder is 20 feet high and 300 pounds. And they are made from the world's strongest and heaviest metal, ALIMINUM! My Dad must be the strongest dude in the UNIVERSE, because I distinctly remember him carrying one of these with one hand out of the basement to change a lightbulb when I was a kid. He was that mighty.

On to the match. This was almost like a triple-threat match, where 2 guys go at it and everyone else pretends that that last closeline really hurt and decide to just stay down. Idiots.

Kane starts off by beating the hell outa everyone, then Benoit counters a chokeslam into a crossface. I mean THE GUY WHO NEVER EXISTED counters the chokeslam into the CROSSFACE THAT NEVER HAPPENED. Then Edge gets a move THAT NEVER EXISTED too. He resists *tapping*. If only he had this same fight to resist umm, tapping, Lita's butt. Matt Hardy would still have a job. Instead of just a box of luchamasks taking up space in his garage that he can't seem to get the Ex to ever come pick up. From there, Kane picks up the ladder and smashes it into Benoit’s shoulder (this is a huge plot point later) and Chris does a great sell job.
Then Edge and Christain do a ladder coinchairto. Shelton Benjamin closelines Jericho off the ladder. Anyway, Kane goes crazy next and takes out almost everyone, including Shelton & Christian (and Tomko who ran in, the "problem" needing "solving" being, umm, how to ruin a perfectly good match?) before tumbling off the ladder with Jericho. Benoit then gives Kane a headbutt off the ladder. Damn. Kane is apparently a zombie now, so he does the Undertaker sit-up. Benoit however headbutts him off the ladder while both were jockeying, and from there, looks to have clear sailing to the briefcase, but Edge sneaks in and clobbers Benoit in his bad arm with a chair and quickly scales the ladder to win the match and gain the guaranteed title shot.

Winner: Edge. He's 4-0 at Wrestlemania and 1-0 at cheating on Matt Hardy's girlfriend.

Eugene comes out and proclaims his love for midgets. Hornswoggle wasn't here yet, so you can imagine everyone's reaction. Then Hassan and Daivari come out in a white suit. They are not racially intolerant today! By the look of his suit, he's been driving the good humor truck. Weapons of mass deliciousness. Anyway, Hassan attacks Eugene and puts him in the camel clutch, but not before making THAT THROAT SLASHING INNUENDO THAT I THOUGHT WAS NOW FORBIDDEN. They then cut away to Luther Reigns, who cries a single tear at Hassan’s apparent insensitivity at his life's misfortunes. Ok, maybe not. Anyway, as if it wasn’t obvious, this brings out Hulk Hogan…dressed in his gear and coming out to a cued “Real American” as if this was to suggest that it wasn’t a totally spontaneous moment and it was planned this way! If only real life was like this. Being a hero would be SO MUCH cooler. Someone's robbing a bank, and suddenly your strange nu-metal theme music starts blaring from nowhere and you thwart the robbery. Clearly life needs to be more like Wrestling. Clearly. Then he beats the crap out of Hassan and Daivari. He no sells a chair shot to Daivari and leaves.

3rd match: The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

It's Wrestlemania. It's Undertaker. We all know the result, but I'm gonna review the match anyway.

The big story here of course was whether the Deadman would surrender his celebrated record, but the finish became kind of telegraphed since it was revealed recently that Orton requires surgery and will be out of action for at least 4 months. But hey, it's taken his dad 20 years to get over a broken wrist, so maybe this is the last we've seen of the Legend killer.

The build up to this match was funny, as Orton said on Raw that he had what it took to beat The Undertaker, and pulled a Chuck Palumbo by RKOing his girlfriend to prove himself. If you were rivaling with Steve Austin or Palumbo, this would work, but it's not gonna impress Taker. Nice break-up though. That Orton's a real thinker.

The HIGHLIGHT of this match for me was Cowboy Bob getting involved, and using his CAST on Taker, allowing Randy to get a nearfall. I just love these nostalgia spots. (See Arn’s spinebuster at WM 18). Anyway, Taker recovers and swats Ace off the apron, and looks to finish Orton with a chokeslam, but Randy counters it with an RKO mid-air. Taker kicks out of the RKO (he is the 1st one to do so). Orton tries to give The Undertaker a tombstone as I scream "Noooo!" in slow-mo, just like in movies. This is like trying to kick Kurt Angle in the stomach, or Flair going to the top rope, or trying to power bomb Rey Mysterio. It just won't work. Undertaker just counters the move for win #13.

Winner: The Undertaker. Loser: Chuck Palumbo and Steve Austin. After the Keibler incedent, they would love to face this guy. Domestic Voilence vs. More Domestic Violence! Wrestlemania 25! Make it happen! Make it happen!

4th match: Christy Hemme w/ Lita vs. Thrish Stratus: Women's title

So, the playboy match and women's title match are now one. The big story to this one is of course that Hemme is a Playboy covergirl and Trish doesn't respect her for what she believes is Hemme capitalizing on this to get a undeserved push. And isn't it technically true? In the real world, huge opportunities don't fall into your lap just because you're naked. Trust me. Just the other day, I kicked off my pants at work in hopes I'd get a promotion. And once I was back from jail, I found that nothing had changed. Wrestling has baffled me.

Anyway, we are told by JR that Lita is Hemme's mentor. Dear God! Lita was Matt Hardy's mentor too, and now he is somewhere in the Carolinas waiting for Lita to pick up her stuff. Like her pictures of Edge, and that present she got- from Edge. How could have Matt not seen the Edge thing coming? Because he didn't open his eyes, he's at his house cutting his wrists while his friends say, "Forget her man. Lita probably had a sex change before WWE anyway, so forget about it." So sad. So sad.

Anyway, Trish kicks her for the win.

Winner: Trish Stratus. Loser: Hemme. You picked Lita as your mentor?! No wonder you're the one posing for playboy, you dumb pantsless prostitute.

If I had to rate this match, (I usually don't), here's what I would give it:

Yes, one screaming Mike Tenay. That converts to zero stars, for all you idiots out there.

5th match: Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

I absolutely LOVED the build-up to this match, and was very entertained by Angle’s vow to accomplish everything that HBK has done in his ENTIRE career, all inside of 4 weeks... although, I was somewhat perplexed as to how Angle was going to refuse to lose some ten championships inside one month… Anyway, to be honest, this match to me was the only one that had that “big match feel” up to this point, and boy did they not disappoint.

The match started off slow, on the mat, as Michaels and Kurt traded various rest-holds, but soon it got more heated. On the floor, Angle delivers a vicious Angle-slam into the post outside the ring, and goes to work on the back again inside. Eventually the action spills back outside, where Angle tries to German suplex Michaels off the apron! But HBK counters with a low-blow that draws surprising heel heat. Still outside, HBK hits a crazy modified Asai moonsault as Angle lay on the announce table but both slide off and it doesn’t break. Still a great spot, though.

Anyway, both men slowly recover, and make it back inside before a count of 10. Michaels rallies and hits his top rope elbow, and sets up for some chin music but Angle sees it coming (I don’t know, maybe he actually HEARD THE STOMPING?) and hooks in an anklelock, but Michaels gets the ropes, again to some boos. A great series of counters by both men next, as Angle goes for more anklelocks but HBK keeps countering them into pin attempts. Finally, Angle settles on the Angle slam and goes up for a huge moonsault. Ross insists this is a page from HBK’s book, but I insist Kurt is the author of this particular “book” because I’ve seen him peel off the moonsault many times (damn JR). Anyway, that misses, and HBK heads up, but Kurt is playing possum and hits a HUGE top rope Angle slam!- but HBK still kicks out! Angle, rightfully frustrated, grabs Michaels and berates him, telling him that his time is over, but Michaels pulls back and hits a straight superkick on the button and Angle is out. I guess he was tired of that whole "turn the other cheek" thing. I don't blame him. From there, slow to cover, HBK only gets a really close 2. Angle then revives and grabs Michaels ankle! HBK tries to kick away but Angle keeps rolling through; Michaels try to get the ropes but Angle pulls him back. Finally, Angle scissors the leg and after almost a minute of writhing, Michaels taps out. Bret Hart watching from Calgary then cackles to himself, and puts his HBK voodoo doll back in the drawer, and says "mission accomplished".

Seriously though, I’ll never say anything bad about HBK again (well, maybe). AWESOME match.

Winner: Kurt Angle.Clearly, if this rivalry has proven ANYTHING, it's that Kurt needs to accept Jesus into his heart. Because if JC can reform Marty Jannetty (Martyr Jannetty?) from slipping stuff into young girls drinks, and allow Shawn to permanently re-attach his smile, surely he can do wonders for a “broken freakin’ neck”!….

Piper’s Pit is next. Hot Rod comes out looking a MILLION times better than he did the last time we saw him. He must have finally given birth. Anyway, Piper calls out Austin, whom he takes offense to being labeled “WWE’s biggest rebel.” Who the hell ever called Austin that? Piper slaps Austin right off the bat, and Austin slaps him back without hesitating. Although, my theory is that since Piper was wearing a skirt here, he couldn't help himself. Ah, I kid, Steve.

Anyway, the two trade insults, but Carlito of all people interrupts, and tells both men that no one wants to see them anymore. Piper tells Carlito that he looks like “Alfalfa”, but I think he meant Buckwheat. Oh, well. His heart is at least in the right place. I think. Maybe. Who knows though with a shape like Piper's. Piper then grabs Carlito’s apple and spits it in his face,and this leads to CCC attacking Piper, until Austin pulls him off. What's it with Piper and fruit? If you ever see him in the fruit or produce aisle in the super market, I seriously suggest just turning your buggy around. It can only end badly for you. That said, one Roddy eye-poke later, Austin stuns Carlito, and Austin and Hot Rod celebrate with some beer. HEY! WHAT ABOUT PIPER'S SICKNESS?! I guess it comes and goes. Austin then of course stuns Piper. Enjoyable stuff from both guys here.

6th match: Big Show vs. Akebono: Sumo match

Every Wrestlemania, they get a celeb. If you call Akebono a celeb, you ain't with it. Or you're from Asia. I'm not gonna recap. This match gets that Mike Tenay rating.

Winner: Akebono

7th match: John Cena vs. JBL: WWE Championship

Ah yes. The WWE Title match. Wrestling God vs. God, is he trying to actually wrestle? No? Ok, how about Wall street vs. umm, That bad neighborhood 6 blocks away from your house? Sounds about right.

Anyway, I don’t know what the hell happened here, and I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but, THIS WAS NO WAY TO END JBL’S TITLE REIGN. There I said it. Anyway, it’s not that the match was terrible, because JBL actually worked very hard. But it was just so obvious how little they care about this Title. It was like this match was trapped in a heat vacuum, as the crowd was completely apathetic towards the match and Cena in particular, as there was even a smattering of boos for him. What up wit dat, Dawg?

Anyway, JBL dominates much of the tempo here, and actually carries this match. YES, YOU HEARD RIGHT. JBL CARRIED A MATCH. And normally, I'd find out if in fact Hell had frozen over, but I was afraid they might suddenly remember it was my time to spend eternity there, so I didn't bother. Good thinking.

JBL dominates much of this match, but Cena rallies after a while and catches JBL with a powerslam as he jumped off the 2nd rope. 5 knuckle shuffle followed a by a charge in the corner by Cena, but JBL gets his foot up. JBL then goes for the Clothesline from Manhattan by way of Hell, but Cena ducks and hits the anti-climatic F-U out of nowhere for the win and the title. That’s it. No false finishes. No hope spots. No outside interference. Nothing. Just a midcard style match…that by the way was for the WWE’s Championship. Ten months of building and it ends like this. Psicosis' assault episode was better than this. Hey, at least I laughed when I heard about it.

Winner: John Cena. The first African-American WWE Champion. Wait! He's white! But the rapping! And the gang! And the bling!

Main Event: Batista vs. Triple H: World Heavyweight title match

Hey, it’s Motorhead! Here to perform “The Game” live! Hey! Someone should probably remind Lemmy what the lyrics to this damn song are ‘cause I think buddy is just winging it here. “I am the Game, Inaudible garble, garble, garble!" Anyway, HHH emerges from the stage from there, Gangrel style; only he’s not a bloodsucking vampire… although he tends to leave most of his opponent's pushes that way. That's right.

As we go into this it looks like we can get a potential 30 minute match here, which under some circumstances might not be the best idea, but DAVE is ON, tonight.

Anyway, Batista dominates early, and scores with a huge press slam that looked awkward, if only because it looked to be an unassisted legit dead lift. Damn impressive though. From there, HHH gets the advantage, and distracts the referee so Flair can choke Dave with his jacket (Flair does this a couple of times). It's at this point I suddenly remember HHH's speech recently, where he gave a speech equating himself as Batista's father. I then marveled at how it was in fact scientifically possible that an infant had the ability to father Batista in the late 1960's. But more so than that, I would be lying if I said the whole speech didn't remind me of Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker. I guess we'll know how far Triple H has really taken things if by night's end he presses Flair over his head and dumps him into the arena's reactor. (and what reputable arena doesn't have one of those?)

Anyway, both men eventually spill to the floor, and HHH attempts to pedigree Batista on the steps, but DAVE counters that into a slingshot, and HHH careens into the post and does some serious color. Man, JBL may be a wrestling God, but HHH is willing to die for our sins here. Back inside, Dave MURDERS HHH with a huge clothesline in the corner then follows through with a big powerslam for two. Both men spill back outside, and HHH tries to use a chair, but the referee blocks the attempt. Back inside, Flair charges DAVE with the title in hand but gets squashed with a spinebuster. HHH however recovers the belt and clocks DAVE with it for a nearfall. Hunter then gets scooped up into a spinebuster and Batista attempts the finishing Demon-bomb but that’s countered by a low blow, which Dave, unlike every other wrestler lately, sells like he was ACTUALLY HIT ON THE FREAKING BALLS. (seriously, that stuff hurts, and kudos to Dave for finally selling it like the tragedy it is…). Triple H then goes for the pedigree, but DAVE, blocks, pries his hands free from the underhook, scoops up Hunter and squashes him with a version of the Kryptonite Krunch. Dave then FINALLY finishes with the Batista-bomb, 1,2,3. New Champion. Good match with a perfect CLEAN finish. Dance, Batista, by God, Dance, you magnificent bastard.

Winner: BATIIIIIIIISTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHUGGGGGGHHHHHHH! END SHOW

Last Word: Good PPV. The WWE Chammpionship match sucked, though. I like calling Batista DAVE. That's funny.

50 things a fan should do before he/she dies/ Welcome new readers

Posted by (Surprise!) Roadkill

On my site, I wrote a list of 50 things a WWE fan should do before he/she dies. I want you all to see that list, so here is the link:http://roadkillsblog.blogspot.com/2008/03/things-you-should-do-before-you-die.html

Also, welcome new readers. I know that alot of you are new here so let me tell you what we're about and how things work. Deadoposuum is our boss. He blogs about whatever the hell he wants to. CD619 does trivia and makes fun of superstars. DEADGUY 1313 (who has been missing lately) does the corner of the undead (which is temporarily cancelled). I, Roadkill, am second in command. I work very hard. I rant about Smackdown (The Smackdown Rant), review old PPVs (Blast from the past PPV Recapitation), make fake newstories (DEADOPOSSUM DATELINE), Rank ring gear, (Gear Tournament), talk about PPVs, do the monthly award show (The Savagies), Make WWE laws (LOW:THE LAWS OF WRESTLING), Rant (Roadkill's Corner), and I have my own site (http://roadkillsblog.blogspot.com) . So I'm pretty busy. By the way, those things in parentheses were post labels for each segment we do. If you look below each blog, sometimes you will see something that says "Post Labels" and there will be a word next to it. Click on the word, and you will see all the blogs about that subject.
JayBlue 22, our newest memeber of the crew, has written 1 blog. 3 months ago. Not so sure he's that dedicated.
Finally, making his long awaited return later this week, is Majoordood(formerly known as Vampire 13). He is now taking over "Best of the Week" and "The Top Ten", 2 segments that I used to do.
So, I guess you've got the feel of things. Go read now! To read old articles, go to the blog archive, which is on the right hand side near the bottom of the page.

Roadkill's look at WM24 PART 3

Posted by Roadkill (obviously)

Lately, I have been previewing Wrestlemania 24 matches. So far, I have previewed 4 matches (Batista vs. Umaga, Big Show vs. Mayweather, Money in the Bank Match, and Finlay vs. JBL). Today, I wil preview the BunnyMania tag team match, Flair vs. Michaels, the 24 man battle royal, and the ECW Championship match.

BunnyMania
Bunnymania is going to be a tag team lumberjill match. It will be Maria and Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix and Melina. Snoop Dogg is the headmaster for this match. Before you ask, I have no idea what that means.
All in all, this match will be like last year's Lumberjill match. It will be fast and sloppy, followed by a bunch of divas pulling each others hair out. Don't expect anything out of this match. As for the winner, I'm going with team Maria.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
I think we all know how this will end. Flair is gonna lose. Don't pretend it's not true, readers. It would be inappropriate to end his career before 'Mania and it would be even worse to end it after Wrestlemania. Don't be surprised if this ends up being a match to remember. Don't be more surprised if this match is 2nd or 3rd to last.

Battle Royal/ECW Championship match
As we all know, there will be a 24 man battle royal at Wrestlemania. The winner will get an ECW title shot immeadiately after the match. I think this match will be a dark match. It is going to be a half-hour match, and you can't waste your time on that nonsense- especially at Wrestlemania. The winner of this match will be- I don't know. There are lots of possibilities. Jamie Noble could win and have a classic Cruiserweight vs. Cruiserweight match with Chavo. Kane could win and beat Chavo. Everyone would love that. Kofi Kingston could win too. Even if he lost to Chavo, it would give him a push. Miz could win both matches. That would start a jealousy rivalry between Miz and Morrison. Or a superstar could make his debut and win both matches. That would be huge.
As for the title match, Chavo loses no matter what. Especially if a heel wins the battle royal. You couldn't start a heel vs. heel thing. If a face wins he loses too. You can't have Kane or Jamie Noble lose to Chavo at Wrestlemania.

Stay tuned, because later in the week, I will preview the main events- 'Taker vs. Edge and the Triple Threat match for the WWE title.

Gear Tournament: Round 3 (Semifinals)

Posted by Roadkill

Wow! We are finally in the Semifinals of our Ring gear tournament. The winner gets the covetted prize: THE COOLEST RING GEAR AWARD. The winner will be announced at the next Savagies. (The Savagies are our version of the slammys, except they are monthly.) Here are the Semifinal results in our ring gear tournament:

Jimmy Hart's Megaphone over London and Kendrick's Masks

Mr.Socko over the Legion of Doom's shoulder pads

Wow! Mr.Socko or The mouth of the south's Megaphone? Find out at the savagies!

Smackdown Spoilers

Posted by Whoever you want to post this

Here are the Spoilers for friday's Smackdown: (courtesy of wrestlingforum.com)

Batista b. Deuce & Domino in a total squash match. Batista hit a Batista Bomb on Domino to get the win.

A backstage segment airs with Cherry talking trash. ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero vs. Undertaker is announced for later tonight.

Teddy Long announced that tonight's Diva competition between Cherry, Eve, Michelle McCool and Victoria will be an arm wrestling match.The arm wrestling table was setup in the ring. Victoria beat Eve, Michelle McCool beat Cherry. Michelle McCool beat Victoria. Victoria is the diva eliminated by the fans. Victoria attacks Michelle but she is able to counter and Victoria gets knocked to the outside.

Big Show b. Andy Douglas, Chase Stevens, & an unknown wrestler in a total squash match. Big Show nailed a right hand on Chase Stevens to get the victory.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge b. Funaki in a squash match. Edge mocked Undertaker by picking up Funaki and hitting a Tombstone.

The briefcase above the ring on the cable was for MVP's VIP Lounge which is up next. Chris Jericho is announced as the guest.The segment features a lot of verbal sparring. Jericho plays with MVP's name calling him a zit, loser, and a jackass. MVP ends up climbing the ladder and Jericho pushes him off.

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo ends in no contest. The Great Khali comes out and gives Kane a hard chop and then a tree slam to both. Mark Henry comes out and takes out Khali. He hits a splash on Palumbo and the World's Strongest Slam on Kane. Big Daddy V was not featured in the segment.

WWE Tag Team Champions The Miz & John Morrison b. Jesse & Festus to retain. Jesse takes a pretty big beating before Festus gets the tag and cleans house. Festus ends up getting thrown out of the ring. The Miz scored the pinfall on Jesse after he hit the Reality Check.

ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero vs. The Undertaker is up next. Edge comes out with Chavo.The Undertaker b. ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero in a non-title match via submission. Undertaker dominated throughout until he ended up choking Chavo out. After the match, Edge hits the ring along with Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins. Undertaker attempts a chokeslam on one of the Edgeheads but Edge hits the Spear. All three beat Undertaker up in the ring with chairs.

The Smackdown Rant

Posted by Deadopossum





Hello, it's me, with the Smackdown Rant! Roadkill does this every week, but this week, he is somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle, so I'll be recapping the worst show on televison.





Did you dummies believe me?! It's still Roadkill! If you've been reading, you'd know that I've been blogging as deadopossum for over a week! I think this is illegal, so I'll just start over again. Forget this ever happened.





Posted by Roadkill





Welcome to Smackdown! The show where it's normal for women in bikinis to wrestle. Speaking of women in Bikinis, it's time for pt.2 of the SD diva contest, hosted by Maria. One diva will be elimanated tonight. That diva is Maryse. (That elimanation only furthers the "Wrestling is Gay" arguement.) As she leaves, we start an obstacle couse. You must run throught the tires, go through the sack, and then climb THE WALL OF DOOM! Dum-Dum-Dum! Fastest time wins. Everyone has okay time, but then it's Michelle Mcool's turn. She goes through the tires, is pretty good in the sack (not what I mean- get your head outa the gutter), and climbs over the wall. Anyway, the winner is of course Michelle McCool, and for winning she gets...absolutely nothing. What the hell was the point of that, to show off their athletecism? Hey I have an idea, if you want to do that why not put the wrestlers in, I don't know, a wrestling match? You know, other than the fact that they don't know how to wrestle.


In the back now Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels hug. Flair's hair is looking especially yellow tonight. They'll be taking on Edge and his Heads later on in a handicap cage match tonight, which is non-career threatening by the way, just in case you thought there was any chance of Flair winning that. Flair doesn't want either of them to be injured before Wrestlemania because he wants the match to be great, and Michaels says between his bum knees and Flair's bad back, they'll be lucky to make it down that extra l ong ramp at Mania, let alone put on a good match. Flair agrees and they toast glasses of Wine as we hobble on to commercials.





We are back, and look. It's Moore Yang. But where's Duece and Domino. HUH! IT'S A MIRACLE...





1st match: Shanon Moore and Jimmy Wang-Yang vs. The Big Show





My uncle knows Show's cousin, so I can't really make any fat jokes. Besides that, I think you know how this goes.





Winner: The Big Show



Commercail!



We are back and this guitar riff can only mean one thing! The creative team doesn't know who Jim Morrison is!



2nd match: Miz vs. Morrison: MITB qualifier



Well, the Cole announces that Miz and Morrison will lose their titles to Jesse and Festus next week. I see the Guru of Gay and his partner breaking up. Anyway, who cares about this match? I'm not even gonna recap it.



Winner: Jim, I mean John Morrison. Good, quick match with a nice ending sequence. I wish Morrison would somehow tweak his gimmick enough to not just make me want to laugh/cringe during interviews and stuff, but regardless, his matches are always fun. Commercials.



Back to more Hornswoggle crap. Finlay is distraught over his son in the hospital and looks vicious as he threatens JBL at Mania. Finlay is good. It's too bad this feud is over a leprechaun bastard son. By the way, was it ever really explained why JBL decided just to jump in here or, what the hell? Anyway, MIXING THINGS UP now with MVP-Batista. Again. But it's No DQ, though! It'll be different, honest! Please don't change the channel to Survivorman! No can do, exclaiming Smackdown hawker. Oh wait , the US Title's on the line? Allright, Matt Hardy will be back tonight, I'm sure of it! They show footage of P defeating Jamie Noble at a house show to gain entrance into the Money in the Bank match. Just in case you thought they were actually going to have a Wrestlemania where a championship other than a world title was defended.



3rd match: Batista vs. MVP: United Staes title/No holds used match



Last week I said that if this match sucked enough, and Matt Hardy didn't return, I would express my Frustration in capitals.



GODDAMIT! MATT HARDY AIN'T BACK! TEEST DIDN'T WIN! WWE IS LIKE SHAQUILLE FREAKIN' O'NEIL AND A FREE THROW- IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Anyway, Umaga comes out and spikes Batsita, so MVP can get the pin.



Winner: NO ONE! MVP IS THE CENA OF THE MID-CARDERS! Commercials





Back in time for a super important tag match, because all four guys involved will be fighting eachother at Wrestlemania! Along with every single other undercard guy on the WWE roster. They'll all be competing in a big ass thrown together Battle Royal, AT WRESTLEMANIA, to determine who will face ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero later that night. At Wrestlemania. Because only SOME belts get actual title programs. All brands are equal, though!



4th match: Kane and a mouse vs. Khali and Mr.Domestic Violence... Violence



Kane and Palumbo start things off. Born of Fire vs Born to be Mild! Kane with a side slam, etc. on Chuck. He tags to Noble who lands a crossbody on Palumbo. He recovers quickly since he's of a higher weight class and drills Noble with a clothesline. Khali gets the tag and chops up Noble, Flair-style not Dahmer-style, just in case you thought Khali came in with a machete I guess. Noble STILL has trouble grasping his disadvantages as a cruiserweight, so Khali puts him down and explains to him why the fans onl y like big guys who stumble a lot and how nobody gives a shit about cruiserweights, ever. But since Khali doesn't speak English, he explains this by grabbing Noble's neck and squeezing the nerves. Kane comes in to stop that crap though, but Palumbo is in to do battle with Kane. In the meantime, Khali just plants Noble with the chokebomb for the pin.

Winner: Khali and Chuck Paluser. Where is the bike gang?

Chuck and Khali hilariously highfive eachother after the match. Not as good as Khali bumping knucks, but gold nontheless. Commercials.

We are back and it's main event time! No, it's not like last week's 3 on an old guy match. This week, there are 2 old guys! And there's a cage! And the ECW champion! And it's non-career-threatning! And there are 2 mid-carders! But will the unforgiving cage forgive anyone?

MAIN EVENT: Chavo Guerrero, Edge, Zack Ryder, and Curt Hawkins vs. Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels: Steel Cage match

Chavo climbs over the cage to get in, and serves his team by getting chopped down just like the rest of the Edges. Flair makes a break for it by scaling the cage, but Edge goes up to meet him. Flair chops Edge down though, but Chavo is there to bring Flair back down to the mat. Flair battles the champions while Michaels is taking on the Edgeheads. Edge then attacks HBK and the Heads go after Flair, while Chavo proves to be a worthless contribution to his team by sniveling on the ground. Edge whips Michaels to Chavo, who back body drops him into the cage wall. Edge then puts down Flair with a spear and so everyone turns to Michaels. He gets beat down and tied up in the ropes for Edge to deliver a spear on Michaels into the cage wall. Flair starts to recover so the Edgeheads beat him down. If you combined their ages, Flair would still have over a decade and a half on them. I bet Flair's feeling like an old man at night in a city park right about now. Edge brings Flair over to Michaels who is still tied up and t ells HBK to "watch this". All four guys lift Flair up and hurl him headfirst into the cage. Awesome. Flair is covered in blood and Edge goes for a mock pin on him in front of Michaels, then lifts up saying "Oh no no no!" and continues the beatdown. Man I love Edge. Michaels escapes from the ropes just in time for Chavo to tie him back up and choke him. The Edgeheads take turns grinding Flair bloody face into the cage wall. He then collapses between the cage wall and the ropes in a pool of blood. This is great! Edge turns to HBK and goes for another spear, but Shawn stops that crap with a kick. He gets untangled and takes on all four guys until Edge manages to whip him into the corner and he lands upside down like he always does. Elsewhere, as in three feet away, Flair is laying into the Edgeheads with chops, but the Champions are ignoring that crap. Chavo holds Michaels upside down in the corner and Edge connects with another spear. Edge then rescues the most pathetic wrestling clones since Fake Kane from Flair's stumbling, choppy um "onslaught" by hurling Flair across the ring into the cage wall. Dear God, why don't they do this every week?! Just all the crappy people you're tired of seeing, put them in some insane match and watch them get beaten up. Next week : Triple H and Batista vs The Entire WWE Roster, shoot fight grudge match! But that's undoubtedly for next week so I'll talk about it then, back to the current main event, Chavo and Edge hug while HBK escapes from the tree of woe in the corner. He and Chavo battle on the turnbuckle until Michaels slams Chavo's head into the cage, but collaspes right afterward. It is at this point that I finally mute the television. Cole and Coach are unbearable during a great match. Anyway, the Edges continue the assault on Flair while Chavo goes up top for the frog splash on the stroked out Michaels...who was getting to his feet when Chavo jumped. HBK catches him with a dropkick in midair, which Chavo sells like a gunshot, and Flair simultaneously lands a lowblow on Edge. Screw comebacks, I want to see an absolute squash here. Flair then throws Edge into both Edgeheads who were standing on the turnbuckle for some retarded aerial move setup I guess, and they get crotched on the rope. It's low blows all around (This isn't going to help the WWE with the "Wrestling is Gay" arguement)! Shawn Michaels continues this method of attack with a series of inverted atomic drops. He then busts Edge and Chavo into the cage, goes up top, and lands the elbow drop on an Edgehead. He then starts stomping the ground, but Edge is up and charging for a spear. HBK sidesteps and propels Edge onward into Chavo, who sells it like a someone tossed him the remote and he missed it and it instead tapped him in the stomach. Flair with a lowblow on the other Edgehead and the actual Edge. HBK and Flair each lock in a figure four on the two instead of, you know, escaping this fucking cage of death. Chavo Guerrero promptly stops that with a double frog splash. Edge is crawling towards the door when suddenly the lights go out, and when they come back on Undertaker is in the ring. He goes for a chokeslam on Edge, but gets jumped by the three remaining guys. Great plan, Taker, jump into a fight where you're outnumbered without a weapon or anything. Why the hell does he always turn the lights back on? Surely if he can summon lightning and rise from the dead, he can see in the dark. He brushes this off and lands a double chokeslam on the Edgeheads while Edge was ascending the cage. Chavo lunges at Taker while he was going for Edge and he gets tombstoned for his nobility. He then turns his focus back on Edge, but it's too late. Edge is over the top and out on the floor for the win.

Winners: Chavo Guerrero and 3 Edges. Good Match. END SHOW

Billy and Chuck: Great main event. MVP and Batista had their best outing yet.

Cade and Murdoch: Cole and Coach. Cole has been sucking for over 10 years, and who knows why Coach is still in WWE. He sucked as GM of Raw and he is a worse announcer. He should just stick with that gig he has with MSG and the New York Knicks.

Remember MNM?: I'm just going to rant about the announcing some more. Why is there so little emphasis on this? And it can't be a difference in opinion. NOBODY can think Cole and Coach sound good. At all. Ever. Nobody can. It's ridiculous and retarded sounding. They shouldn't be out there at all, but even the other shows' announcers aren't as good anymore. ECW is absolutely unlistenable (as opposed to just unwatchable) and both ECW and RAW sound weird as hell sometimes, some of the things those four say are so unnatural for them it's hilarious. But while the problem with some of it might be overscripting or stupid guidelines on what to say, the thing with Smackdown is even if you let the guys go out there by themselves, they'd still be crap. They're just bad announcers. Coach especially, but him being hurled out there isn't really his fault since he's always been crap. But Cole's been a lead announcer for almost a decade. He should be able to call a great match and not detract from it . Or at the very least hear himself and know when to shut the hell up. I can usually ignore it because Smackdown is almost always full bad matches and so it doesn't really ruin anything much, you just think "Man does Cole su-DEAR LORD IS THAT KHALI WITH THE WORLD TITLE?!" but the crap really shines through when there's something great going on you want to see and have to mute the TV just to be able to sit and see it.

The top ten: Week of 3/10/08

Posted by Roadkill

Hi. Normally, the top ten is where I rank the WWE's top ten superstars. I'll get to that, but I have to adress something serious now. Very Serious. Jeff Hardy's North Carolina home burned down yesterday. No one was home at the time, and no one was harmed. Now, onto the rankings.

1. John Morrison. Without the Miz. He won a title match and he qualified for the MITB match. It doesn't get better than that.
2. Chris Jericho. He won the IC title on Raw.
3. Edge. He won his incredible steel cage match on Smackdown.
4. The Big Show. He now has a posse, and he also got an advantage in his Wrestrlemania match. As if he needed an advantage.
5. CM Punk. He beat Big Daddy V and qualified for the MITB match. Good Job!
6. MVP. He qualified for the MITB and defended his title all in a week. Just like Morrison.
7. Finlay. Did you see what he did to Kennedy on Raw?
8. Randy Orton. He did a great job as GM of Raw. But can he co-exist with Cena to beat the entire Raw Roster tommorow?
9. Triple H. Nice match with Kane.
10. Colin Delany and Tommy Dreamer. They didn't win, but I think they craked Morrison's Rock hard Abs.

Good news! Starting next week, I won't be doing the "Best of the Week" and "The top Ten" anymore. Majoordude, my brother will be taking over both segments. Hey, at least I'll have more time to write jokes for the Smackdown Rant.

Best of the Week: Week of 3/10/08

Posted by Deadopossum

Hi! This is Roadkill, blogging as Deadopossum. Why would I do such a thing you ask. Well, Deadopossum is busy and hasn't blogged alot lately, so when I feel like it, I'll just blog as Deadopossum. This is probably illegal, and I might go to jail. Oh Well!

Every week, we pick a few superstars from each brand. They are the brands "Best of the Week" Here are the best of the week for the week of 3/10/08:

RAW'S BEST OF THE WEEK:
Chris Jericho. He won the Intercontinental title on Monday.

ECW'S BEST OF THE WEEK:
John Morrison. No, I'm not associating him with The Miz this week. Why? He had a way bigger week than The Miz. He won his title match, and he qualifyed for the MITB match.

SMACKDOWN'S BEST OF THE WEEK:
Edge. He won his steel cage match on Smackdown. Great job.