Roadkill's Corner

Posted by Roadkill

Welcome to Roadkill's corner. (Except I'm not in a corner. Weird.) This is where I write about whatever's on my mind. Do I have permission from Deadpossum to do this? No. Will he delete this blog because I started a new segment without asking him? Damn Straight.

Alright, I gotta start off by saying one thing. Were the hell is Gregory Helms? It's been a year now and we haven't seen him. He was injured from a freakin' Crossface! I mean, Chris Benoit hurt you! He never hurts anyone! Oh, wait...

I have a segment on my other site called "Rivalries". It is where I come up with storylines for the WWE. Look out for it, 'cause I'm bringing it here. Do I have permission from Deadpossum to do this either? Hell No. Will he be mad at me? No. He's actually been pushing me to do this. In fact, why don't I give you a sample of my handiwork (this is an old storyline I came up with. It is from my site, http://roadkillsblog.blogspot.com/ ):

Rivalry: Funaki vs. Duece 'n' Domino

Why: Duece 'n' Domino are jealous of Funaki's win streak; Are very mad because they can't beat him.

How it goes: Funaki beat a jobber one week, Kenny Dykstra the next week, and Dykstra again the week after. Everyone is happy for Funaki, except Duece 'n' Domino. Funaki beats Domino, which gets Duece mad, which leads to Funaki vs. Duece at Judgement Day.

At Judgement Day, Duece 'n' Domino are interviewed before the match. Duece vows to beat Funaki, no matter what it takes. The match is great, but Domino and Cherry distract Funaki, allowing Duece to get the pinfall.

On Smackdown, Duece 'n' Domino brag about their win against Funaki to start off the show. Funaki comes out and says that it shouldn't count as a win, because they cheated. Duece says that Funaki can talk all he wants, but he will never beat him. Duece then challenges Funaki to a match. Funaki accepts, but he says that if there is a dirty finish, Duece 'n' Domino are gonna pay. The match is good, but after Duece slams Funaki, Domino distracts the ref, and Cherry hits Funaki with her rollerskate, allowing Duece to pin. Duece and Domino brag about the match backstage.

Next week, Funaki reminds Duece and Domino about what he said he would do if there wasn't a clean finish to their match. That night, Duece and Domino fight Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delany. After Domino hits the Crack 'em' in the Mouth, Funaki comes out and steals Duece 'n' Domino's car. Duece is distracted, allowing Colin Delany to get the pin.

The next Friday, the Smackdown GM announces a gauntlet match for next week, where the winner will get a U.S title shot at Vengence. Later that night, Funaki faces Domino and wins. Did I mention that the winner of that match will get a spot in the gauntlet match next week?

In the gauntlet match, Funaki is supposed to be the first entry, but is taken out backstage by Duece 'n' Domino. They then challenge him to a handicapped match at Vengence.

On Smackdown, Duece 'n' Domino beat 2 jobbers. After the match, the GM comes out and says that tonight, Funaki will face Cherry. As soon as the bell rings, Duece 'n' Domino jump in the ring and attack Funaki.

At Vengence, Funaki and Duece 'n' Domino see each other backstage, and get into a pre-match brawl, which is broken up by security. Domino's nose is bleeding. After the next match on the card, Duece 'n' Domino are interviewed. They say that Funaki better be ready, because they just convinced the GM to make it an elimanation handicapped match. The match is pretty good, Duece is elimanated 1st, then Domino. Funaki walks out with a big smile, knowing that he is done with Duece 'n' Domino.

So, how did you like it? I know I didn't use proper main eventers, but that's part of the point. I make up storylines, but who cares whos involved? As long as it's enjoyable, fans like it. That's what the WWE needs to learn.

Finally, I know this doesn't have to do with WWE, but I haven't seen Deadguy 1313 lately. He went to New York and got in trouble for something. In case you see him, here is what he looks like:

Hey! That's Spitzer! I guess we can call him "Client 1313" now.

You ol' chaps from Europe probably have no idea who this is. It's New York governor Elliot Spitzer. You see he uhh... "hired" someone to do something. I know prostitution is legal over there, so you might not get it when I say "Spitzer hired a prostitute". Wait. Oh crap! You mean Prostitution is legal over there?! Oh no! If I insulted anyone, I'll end up like Michael Richards!