LOW: THE LAWS OF WRESTLING

I, Roadkill, am going to start a new series on this blog called LOW: THE LAWS OF WRESTLING. This is where I make up the stupid rules of wrestling. Here are fifteen not so cool rules:

• If you are Big and Muscular, and your opponent is The Great Khali, the night can't until you slam him.


• Even if you are pinned in a traditional Survivor Series match, don't worry, your'e still undefeated.


• When you are rivals with Kane, there is always a gasoline canister readily availible under the ring.


• In a street fight, getting hit with a steel chair is highly inafective, but when a steel chair is used in a backstage attack, they are DEVASTATING, and CAREER ENDING.


• When Teddy Long is mad at you, be ready to fight The Undertaker.


• Jumping off a 15-foot ladder onto a flaming table is perfectly safe, but executing a piledriver is CAREER THREATNING and thus strictly forbidden.


• Your first TNA promo must include at least one slam against Vince Mcmahon.


• Sound-guys in the back always have your theme music pre-cued in case you decide to make an incredibly random run-in.


• You can blow up your bosses car, dump poop on him, kick his butt, sexualy violate his daughter, and destroy his office. He won't fire you. He'll just cost you your Royal Rumble spot and 10 matches.
• Everything hurts more when you bounce off the ropes first.
• Prisons in India don't have rooves and are made of bamboo. Yet no one escapes.
• If one of the Hardy boys are wrestling, there will automaticaly be a ladder beneath the ring.
• It is impossible to break a choke hold unless you are almost out of air.
• Certain moves labeled as finishers are highly effective, no matter stupid they are. However, if not labeled as such, they don't hurt your opponent. Not at all.
• If history and statistics are inconvienient for an angle, they never happened.