Recap of Triple H and Steph's 2003 Wedding

Posted by Majoordood




HHH and Steph have been married for 5 years. I thought we should celebrate. So I am going to recap the whole wedding.

HHH pins Goldberg for the world heavyweight title in the parking lot of the church.

Shane McMahon, who was ring bearer, decided an aisle entry was too "old hat" and instead opted to climb the steeple's rafters and deliver said ring by plunging 40 feet back first. He was 33. And fat.


The men up at the altar are Ric Flair, Batista, Kane, RVD, and Chris Jericho. Then only reason they are there are because he plans to pin all of them in World heavyweight title matches later tonight.

Vince does the crazy arm walk when he is ascorting Steph down the isle. He cuts a promo and then Stone Cold Stunners him. Just because.

Triple H is warned by The Undertaker of why getting married sucks, so he pins him after a Pedigree. In the church. During the ceremony.

William Regal, being the traditional English A-hole that he is, has everyone recieve communion. Triple H pins Pedigrees and pins him. While recieving communion, Triple H spits the wine right out of his mouth, up into the air.

The Minister to HHH: "Repeat after me, I take this woman to be my lawfully wedded wife."
HHH: "I take this World title to be my lawfully wedded wife."

The wedding is now over. While he is leaving the church, Triple H pedigrees the flower girl Shane Mcmahon, and the priest. And maybe the Deacon too.

Triple H pins Kane in the parking lot of the reception hall.

Big Show eats all the food during cocktail hour.

Triple H pins Edge during the best man's speech.
When the "Best Man" was introduced, Pat Patterson stood up, hands on hips, defiantly yelling "I'll be Da Judge of Dat!"

Ric Flair tells a joke during his best man speech, "This is what love is", he says. "I gotta tell ya a story about love. A man and a woman go to Death Valley for vacation. The woman dies during their trip. The husband has 2 choices- leave my wife here, or get her buried in America, but spend 10,00 to get her body shipped there. The man takes her back to America, and not because he loves her- because the last time someone was buried in death valley, they rose from the dead!" Everyone but The Undertaker finds it funny, so Triple H just pins him again. Then he just pins Flair for no reason.

Triple H pins the entire wedding band. Motor Head just happens to be at the wedding, so they entertain the people. Apparently, they half ass his HHH's theme song, so the whole band is pinned.

When dancing with the flower girl (who had recovered from the pedigree), Jerry Lawler was said to ask, "so, you wanna go back to my place?"

HHH and Stephanie's first dance entailed Hunter just awkwardly posing, arching his back, pumping his arms, and yelling.

When Steph threw the Bouquet, Steve Austin's new girlfriend was said to have caught it, so saving time, Austin decided to just beat her now as opposed as to after the wedding. This might be love after all.

HHH pinned Chris Jericho as he attempted to get a second piece of cake. Hunter preceded this by yelling "You got your chance already. You only get one!". People speculated that they had heard this speech before. The night after Wrestlemania 18. Strange.

HHH pins Batista on his way to refill the ice bucket. Just 'cause.

Scott Hall was seen later that night, keying the "Just Married" limo before forcing Grandma McMahon into a near by hedge. Normally, it'd have been too dark to identify him... hadn't Hall accidentally forgot to wear his tuxedo pants in lieu of monogrammed trunks.

Triple H pins RVD before heading into the "Just Married" car. Then he finds out that the car way keyed and tries to pin Scott Hall, but he's too tired. So Shawn Michaels just does it for him. Then he pins Michaels.

Instead of cans on the "Just Married" car, he used cruiserweights. Cans are too expensive, man.

When he gets home, Triple H opens all his presents with a 50 pound sledgehammer.