Wrestlemania 24 Original Plans Revealed!

Posted by Roadkill

Breaking News! New developements show that the WWE had other plans for Wrestlemania 24, ones that were unused. Let's observe them:

After defeating everyone on the WWE roster at least 3 times, SuperCena needs a Wrestlemania opponent. One that will give the Krypton native a run for his money. My suggestion would be to make him watch every PPV he's ever headlined. Then he would know what it feels like to lose. But the WWE had diffrent plans. They realized than no man on this earth could beat Cena, but what about on another earth? So they decide to go the extra mile, to create a hole in the fabric of time (sorta like the won Khali creates after every match). So they got Mirror World Cena. The reason this could not happen at 'Mania is because the WWE would have to charge us 1 million a PPV. Why? This was also going to be broadcast in The Mirror world. Over there, Wrestling is their pastime whereas Baseball is just a sport filled with Steriods. Also, it was discovered that this Cena owns a Seg-way and plays Chess all day. He also loses every match and never over-comes the odds. But if this match did happen, Regular Cena would win, thus sending the other Cena and everyone else with a Goatee into the Mirror World. (Jim Niedhart is shaving as we speak.)

After getting a world title shot at every mile in every pit of danger, DAVE is left without a Wrestlemania opponent. Until now. Remember that Promo Batista did before Summerslam about Khali and the Basketball? Don't remember? It was the- oh wait, they're all bad. Anyway, the Basketball is mad at BAUTISTA for his slanderous remarks. Batista asks King Booker,"What am I supposed to do with a big inatimate obeject that has to be carried?" Booker's response: "Know you know what I feel like when I have to wrestle you".

It's the battle of the giants as Khali faces Andre! Khali is 7 foot 3, and Andre is a whopping 75 feet! That's only because road agents lined his bones up in a row. There was some talk that this match couldn't be done but Vince came to save the day. "Andre is dead, but he is still faster than Khali, so he will surely be able to hold his own", Vince said. "I am not worried about Andre's health either, because he is already dead and cannot be killed in the ring like he was at Wrestlemania 3."

Not much to say. Triple H, like Cena, has pinned every mid-carder and tag team in the history of the WWE. So why not do it again. So this year, Triple H will face the entire tag team division and a tank in a handicapped match. But Triple H has non-human powers, so the tag teams would all Pedigree themselves. Then Triple H would run them all over with the Tank. He would then destroy the Tank with his Sledgehammer. He would spine-buster all of the Tag Teams and then pin them all SLOWLY. Why does HUNTER pin all of them? He thinks about the future. A future where he pins new people. Just 'cause he feels like it.

Like Cena, Lashley is big and Muscular, so he needs an opponent to over come the odds against. What better to over come the odds against than a Vegas Slot machine! I know, it's horrible. Don't be shocked when The Machine cuts a better promo than Lashley.

What better to headline Wrestlemania than the unfinished feud between Mcmahon and God? Anything else. God will win. Mcmahon can't beat God. He'll strike him with lightning or something. Besides, God is still mad about thier last fued. Why do you think Benoit- I mean THE GUY WHO NEVER EXISTED died?

Wrestlemania couldn't be Wrsetlemania without the Hall of Fame ceremony. With no Holgans or Warriors this year, who else to induct into the hall of fame but The Where's The Beef Lady? With countless contibutions to the company (countless because you can't count under zero), she has earned her spot into the hall of fame. She's dead though, so representing her will be Mae Young, because she's old and- well, she's old.